Why do women stay with abusive guy's for? Or live with lazy ones that do not care to work?

Our coworker went home early as her live-in boyfriend pushed and slapper her around at lunch. She's just a tiny petite size gal and he's a big, burly kind of guy.

Got another young gal that has a daughter. She's not a half bad looking gal at that. She works and her boyfriend does not. According to this gal, he has no desire to get a job and help pay the bills.

Makes me wonder as I have a very good attendance record at work and I think I can be a gentleman towards a woman. Grant you I don't drink any alcoholic beverages.

There are men who are abusers of women that are not alcoholics or drug addicts..believe it or not...and the reasons women stay are all different...especially if they have children in common...they fear the children will be hurt or he will take off with them somewhere and keep them from the mother....as a collateral that she won't leave...many women have insecurity issues and the abusers convince or brainwash them that they are worthless and that they don't have anyone but them "the abuser" that loves them...its mostly a power thing....but there are many types of abuse....some women enjoy that type of relationship as the abuser, sometimes is very needy and that makes women feel wanted or needed...even in situations that aren't healthy...men and women who are abused...often have low self esteem and don't think they deserve any better....at the end of the day...it is their choice and there are means to leave but they have to want to..and sometimes the people who can help them are the family and friends that they haven't been allowed contact with due to the abuser being controlling or possessive...no one deserves to be in that situation but we all make our own decisions and sometimes the decisions we make, could bury us.
Hope that helps:)

I am glad to see a male friend of mine help me with a female friend of mine. Since he is married he was more help than I was towards her. He help her to get a date who was a male friend I had in common when I used to work with both of the males. Since her ex won't let her see the kids anyway she went on a date with the guy. I just hope their isn't any repercussions. But so far for a week they have been doing pretty good. I was just talking to one of my bosses last night and her take on it was at least she doesn't have to depend on the ex for a ride and she seems a lot happier. Whether the two of them go away to another state is still uncertain. Since her kids are still here I am not sure she will go with him. He is leaving with or without her so the ball is really in her court right now.

Yes it does, thank you.

I'm not a fighter in any way, shape or form. Never have had the desire to beat the heck out of some guy and certainly not a woman!!! I think it's foolish and a waste of my precious time. I've had my head knocked around many times in the past. Mostly do to road rage games, but a few times as big guys have felt the need to bust my head open to make them feel more manly and tough. My nose has been re-arrange a few times as well. I'm pretty sure most women can knock me flat on my butt if they wanted to.

I was with a woman who beat me and i couldnt leave because i was co-dependent and could not imagine my life without her

Women who stay with abusive men have self esteem issues and usually other issues to. They are not mentally well. So to expect them to make a sane decision is expecting too much.

I know I used to be with an abusive man.

switch it around, why do guys want women who dont wish to work?

some people are more dominant and some people are not
some people are more comfortable being providers and others are not

as to the 'abuse', some people are also aggressive(even females) and thrive on such physical confrontations as their source of excitement and vitality

others enjoy fighting hard because they enjoy loving hard

others are too scared to try to leave,,,

I do not believe men who make claims of physical abuse as a pattern from a woman because I have seen some lie about it, and tho there may be the very rare exception physical abuse and rape is largely committed by men against women - even more so than what is reported because women are often afraid to report due to sometimes violent retaliation

It is hard to leave abusive relationships when a woman feels she has no option


other than that IDK....and I 'm not open to debate because this topic tires me

Yes, I have met a couple of men like that. In once case a woman threw something at her husband and hit him in the head. This guy was smart though. Called the police and had her thrown in jail for a short while.

In another a woman dragged her husband out by tightly grabbing a specific area in his pants. I was horrified! Any guy who would tolerate that was clearly abused much worse behind the scenes. Would you believe I have heard of more abused men than women? It' just that men don't talk about it because most feel ashamed.

some women cant function with a "good" guy or "gentlemen" it kinda come down to what there comfortable with it sound mean but that y they get in to "new" relationships with the same type of guys

Well i can't speak for all the other sufferers, but for me, i stayed cos i'd known the guy since my school days. So i had a whole lot of affection for him. I don't think i wanted to leave cos i loved him way much. I just felt i should. For my own sake. I just felt i needed to leave, without a big fuss at all.

Two country songs cometo mind both by Miranda Lambert "Kerosene" & " gunpowder and Lead"
Some women just can't help themsleves and stay with their abusers, it works its way into your brain, and you start to believe what you hear from them. (Lived it in my younger years)
Some are afraid to try and leave for fear of retaliation.

Hmmm nope i cant agree with this at all..

There are many different reasons,

It can be because you know you will be way worse off if you do leave,

But it can also be that you just dont notice until its too late.

A psychologist friend once told me that its a little like a frog.

If you place a frog in boiling wter he will fight to escape, however if you place a frog in cool water and slowely heat it up, he just slowly cooks to death until its to late for him to do anything..
sometimes in a relationship things start small and build up until you have no idea how you ended up there. Then it is not as easy to get out as everyone thinks..

For example, I owned my home and business and had 6 children, If I stayed and told him to leave he would have hurt us, if i had called the police and had him removed he still would have hurt us and probably ened up taking my children as well.

In the end we walked away from everything and left him with it. He still got my children back for a short time, it took the police a year to find him and I only had my children because he got tired of them and would leave them or send them home, one was bashed until he was uncouncious and then dumped with his grandparents 3 weeks later. so really without you walk in someones shoes you cannot know why they stay..

I would tell anyone in an abusive relationship to leave, but at the same time I know it is not always that easy.

Not always dragoness..my best friend was in an abusive relationship and it ended in her death in May this year. The man killed her and since then I have had a fascination with domestic violence.
Its not so easy, like we all think for the woman or man to walk away..it is psychological because sometimes you cannot accept that a man who loved you, who told you he loved you can do that to you. So when he says he is sorry, it was the alcohol that made me hit you and that he loves you..you will forgive him.
Im glad that you left though

I was with a abusive ex bf who's a super duper cheater and I couldn't leave him because every time he beats me I feel that I was important to him. (DUMMY!!!) Like he beats me if someone looks at me,male friends send me messages/phone calls,or even when I go out and hangout with my friends cause he thinks that I'm with other man and I'm just making an alibis. And every time I tried to run away from him I keep coming back cause that time in my heart I knew he did that cause he loves me..... so my life was a hell before then... but now, I'm happy and free and promise not to have another abusive relationship anymore. If I meet a guy, I'll make sure first that he's not a abusive type of guy