Today was hell unleashed. Arranging with charity to remove her clothes, belongings.

Opened bags, many from her past, daggers piercing an already injured heart.

I stuffed clothes neatly into those trolleys, opening that green bag that held so many secrets.

I flicked through hundreds of photos, many of her. The damn broke then.

Preserving history is crucial to me. Here I was, destroying hers. Not the photos of course, just paperwork.

Once that awful dam collapsed, my heart plunged over the falls, drowning in a mist of briny tears.

For half hour I became hysterical, tears cascading down thin, bony cheeks that even God laughs at.

I shook as if a mega quake had struck, one had of course. The emotional equivalent.

It subsided slowly, my tortured mind clearing at last. No sleep for days now, no weight but 32 bags of pound sugar.

A flyweight that even flies could crush. Just a breathing corpse, waiting for the sword of Damocles to fall.

As it will, please be soon. This agony is truly beyond endurance. Mountains of belongings remain to be sorted, checked, slung.

The agony will continue. The true agony of a cruel lover’s fool. The final agony before death itself.