Shall we do it right
here right now under
this moment of truth

?



??
not hard not hard
how is it better
oh ufck your hard
nipples are simple
and nice for a change

you look
like
you like

how that hangs

claims to be aimed
at me after she gets
what she wants its
a nice windy breeze

now how can this be
everytime i close my
eyes i see different
things the same
and the same things
changes shades
instantly


oh **** i painted that with an old brush

its smiling

hush

you are better off without me

go ahead and forget me
dont ever give your two shens about me

i write this in every color

my poor colored mother is ghastly pale white in comparison to me

yEEEEESSSSSSSS! YEEESSS! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!

she has her hands full

doesnt she?


hi mama!

what can i say?
its little J!J!

how are you?
they say im O!K!

still doing this thing
think shrink red green
no!
wait!
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
wait
wiat
wait
what
wiat
what
what
wtf.
let me say more
whores are nasty
and i am happening
right now i am
having needs
i could
explain
lavishly
lavishly
LaVISHlY
your majesty
i remember who went where
but cant remember why what does


i was on one
now im on a few
wheeeeeeeewwwwW!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeE!
stilllovepoetry!
itswhatslovesme!
iloveit2whoahah!
thiSanecoolfool!
stopdoingthisplz

ThX

people are funny

look in the mirror
and make your funny faces

you know you have one
but your not going to show
anyone because you want to keep
it to yourselves you shelledfish
whatever

leave me alone
get out of my head
you were and still are was
and never will be forgotten

i cant move on
because i cant move on
because i dont want to move
ON
not because i cant move on
i could move on any time
i want to move on i can
i just chose not to
for
s (still)
a (a)
f (fact)
e (examining)
t (tool)
y (yeilding)
e (experience)
Reasons
my hearts running on low grade
because i cant afford any other way

i would love to be brave
and dig myself up out of this grave
and sit myself down inside a cave &
make myself more confident in a suit
and tie kind of mentality actually
that would be so happening
and i wouldn't have to be me old me

knowing what it is i know it has to be happening
because i say no more where not all can be told
i tend to have tendencies that are (3 letter word)

lets be hobbies!

they never hate eachother!

they love what they do!

that could be our new race

lets do that and get off
this planet

not saying i have superstitions
just i know this ain't right
being denied by two lesbians

this has to be real mans kryptonite
as sure as i can invision

if i love how you love this we could be kissin

we could go on in on and on about this but really
all these happy faces are killing me

this is good

its making my jaws sore

go ahead and plug in that cord

come to me
get on me
show me
what we are here for

your body has alot of emotion

mines
meh
a little sore

lets be different
even if it means being
unfunctional

pull the button

everyone pushes them




dont be like everyone else she said
just be yourself honey and you will
grow up to be a fine young man

so

i did
whatever i wanted to do

and this is what is happening

i have been dealt these cards
three of which i could do without but really
this is a real game with fake chips but real cash.

i could go for the four of a kind or just settle for a straight

time for an unnecessary cuss just because ufck wait!

whadaya thinks my shrink thinks is happening

trust me
he cant believe this

i dont do what i say
i dont say what i do

i just run around all dumb
like a smart *** confused!

Hi Dad

(waves the magic finger)

forgive me father
for i have always made you mad
and couldnt understand why
but i do hope now that
you are thinking
differently
please
for

connors

safe

i guess
he heard me not
but its fine for now


i remember a time when i could look at every situation and laugh
it off

now i cant tell what the difference is between whats happening now
and what happened then and whats going to happen

i know this
is not none of your business but i think about you so randomly
consistent

what do you see when you look at me
what do you see when you judge me

grown ups know so much

this was about my father



at some point


i dont even want to carry on about it anymore
and the angels in heaven would play there harps louder to ignore me
NOT because they dont love me but because they wouldnt want me to
ACT so what is that word that revolves around hate. ah yes, negativity.

i eat food that isn't the best of me
and im sure you would agree
as it seems to strip away the life
that i know is meant to be.

time for a new thought
because i am happening
even when i dont know
what is happening

insincts make it happen
when i think i know i can
save time if i do this with
two hands

music is sexy
wouldn't you agree

damn you are back

and you are back
to being you

try something new
one says
be different
another tells
no just be who you are
you say
whatever that does

because right now

i dont believe
who you are
explains what you does

i see a junior western bacon burger
when your a super star made with love

throw me a crumb
and i will swim away gracefully

say whats on your mind family
stop living like a contestant on survivor

teach me how to teach and i wouldnt have learned how to master
the art of how to play with fire

zzz
im tired

look at the pits we dig ourselves in
the positions when we think negatively

dont hate on you
because your mad

others will see that
and how would they act
gracefully then

now where is your
lAvISHlY!

damn son
look in the mirror
what happening

your growing so fast

how much longer will this last

i cant forget you
as i know you are the light
that shows my path

you teach me how to do math

every day i count as another lost
day i will never get back

dang son
im a son of a gun
that is always heated

but you will never know this
because i can't let you read this
or wont let you know it would take a
cruel person to show you this

maybe even a crueler one to let it go

if you know what i've scene

it is alot to comprehend

the heart
anothers heart
blah blah blee

lets make this more awkward than it already has been
my friends

where are you

(a light shines down a long room with a small group of people at one end)

there you are!

thank you for being here!

thanks for you time and for helping me get through this time of madness

you know whats happening
now
now you get it
where
as before
you had no clue whatsoever
how to score this

you still dont

but you are catching on

which is a good thing because some one has to hold this down
while my minds gone

nuts

cookoo!
hiHIHOEZcherryOOOOoooooOOOOOoHHHS!


lets see what this will do

..Farking wow..

Hmmmmmmm
Idk how to
reply
when there's a tear
In my eye

My heart in my
Throat
So all I can
Do is croak
Out another
Hoarse note

I know the feel
Of this is
Real
And it would
Be easier
Not to deal

But let me tell you
It would
NEVER
Be true

Break the cycle of this thing
Use your words
To make reality
Si- fa la la la la
Sing

And yes, for Connor's sake
J, make it all
REAL
Cause I know
You're NOT
fake
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just cause there are things in life that have always been a certain way doesn't mean that they should or need to stay that way. Why not make new traditions and new realities???

I read every word.
Very deep and heartfelt.

Very powerful and insightful expression.