i'm starting to hear things.
it's weird.

maybe you are hearing the wind of change that seems to be gathering around my life

why don't people like change?

well my friend, it may not have been as random as it appears.

i'm not sure why it is or even if it is so for others. for me it's about loyalty. if i find something i like, i tend to stick with it

well i guess i'll let you decide my friends. it's a long story, so i'll give it to you in parts. if you need more details let me know

hm.
should i get a snack.

as of right now, i'd say yes, we need more details

about a year ago i was introduced to this 25 year old girl. she has three children all from the same man.

she is not my idea of pretty, she can't hold a conversation on a level i find stimulating, she is nosy, and when we are around other girls i know she acts like her and i are a couple

she calls mainly when she "needs" a ride, or when she wants a free meal, or "needs" to get away from the kids for a while

i call her when i am bored and don't feel like going wherever i'm going alone. so she has met most of my family and friends

tonight she called and invited me to her sister's home to watch a football game. i picked her up and before she was on the bike she said she was starving and wanted to go out to eat. i got slightly irritated but we picked up some fast food and a six pack, then went to her sister's home. there she nibbled at the food (left 3/4's uneaten) and texted me that her sister's boyfriend was being "beyond rude" and wanted to go back to her place to finish watching the game.

as we left i felt i'd had enough. we have never been intimate (we have talked about going there, but it seems like when she wants to i don't and when i do she doesn't) so i made a decision

when we got back to her place, i told her that i was feeling like i was not getting anything out of the relationship and i wanted to terminate it right then and there. she said she couldn't believe what she was hearing. so i said if you want to change my mind, let's go to my place and have sex. she said you want a relationship? i said we have a one sided relationship already, i want to end it or you can sex me up and i will reconsider

she said so you will end our friendship if i don't have sex with you. i said get on the bike and let's do this or please do me a favor and hang up on me when i call you. she said why are being a douche. i said i like you i just don't like where this relationship is at and the fact that it will never go anywhere

she looked away and that gave me the chance to start the bike and ride off before she could stop me

so what do you think, or do you need more details

btw, i really didn't want to have sex with her but i was thinking it was the best excuse i could come up with to get her upset enough to agree to end the relationship

bahaha.
that made me laugh.
if you don't like her,
then you don't like her.
the end.
i don't know why it took you a year to end it though.
you were a douche,
but meh.
it's done.

she said i was a douche, but i have helped her move twice, stored her personal belongings for two months (still have a storage room full going on five months) have paid her way everywhere we have ever been, and tonight was the first time i ever demanded anything from her or given her an ultimatum

it sounds like it is a relationship of convenience for her. i am assuming of course, that she gives off little signs of wanting more, but only at times. you have given her some food for thought and now she has to digest it. some times it is better to let sleeping dogs wake themselves, so since you have put the proverbial ball in her court, let it stay there and see what she does with it.

orrrr you could just be glad that you spoke up!

i was afraid you would say that. i don't want her to think about it and try to "fix" things. i wish the bster was right and it was truly over, but since i still have a storage room full of her things, i still have to deal with her. i just feel i did something wrong, or didn't do enough, i'm not sure. thing is i know that i will call her sometime just to have someone to go with me where i want to go. i do that because she doesn't biotch if i haven't called in several days or even a few weeks

so you settle for her?
tsk tsk.
is it so bad to go alone to places?

ok so maybe your way of attempting to end it wasn’t the best, it’s obvious by the way you now feel, but look at this way, at least now she knows where you stand.

i don't settle for her, it's just that other girls i know are not as available as she makes herself. i can call her and ten minutes later she is on the bike and we are headed to whatever event i want.

sometimes it's nice to have dinner with someone, and if i go to some family or friend function, i'm usually the only one still single, so i take her to set an illusion of being in a relationship

i'm just thinking i left a door open for her to come back in. i'm not sure, but i think i should have been more of a "douche"

i think you're giving the illusion of being in a relationship to yourself,
but alweshgddaow[slhdgkf.
don't listen to me.
i'm twenty,
and i know nothing.
goodnight.

well it is a relationship, one i want to end