You might as well said we're not good enough for you.

If I'm honest, my parents have never been thrilled about my decision to date white guys but they have never made an issue of it. Nor have they ever made my boyfriend(s) feel unwelcome in their home. In saying that, they only meet guys that I've been dating for a while e.g 6mths or more.

I also have very diverse and tolerant group of friends who are more likely to dislike my bf based on the fact that he’s a d**khead then skin colour.

Would I put a bf before my family and friends? No, I wouldn’t but I would date him in secret if I knew it would upset them.

That's sad that people still can't love who they choose without family and friends acceptance or that you have to date someone in secret because of it. My family may not like who I've chosen to date or marry, but as long as he treats me with respect they are ok with my decision. I love my family but my life is my life. Now he doesn't have to be around my family or friends, but damn, if they won't know that he exist and that I love him.

That was one of the problems I had with my last ex bf. With the guy for 2 and a half years. His family knew he liked black women but were totally against it. It bothered him that they felt that way. I could never met them, they would never accept me. That was just one of a few problems we had and the reason we couldn't make it work. My ex is one of the sweetest, and respectable men I met, but he needs a woman who is not black, single, doesn't have kids, doesn't want any, doesn't want to get married, and lives a simple life. When he finds her he will be a very happy man. I wish him all the best.

I’m sorry to hear that one of the reasons for your relationship breaking down was due to his family not accepting your relationship.

I was in a relationship with a white guy for 10 years off and on. His parents and siblings totally accepted me (and my son), as part of their lives. But when we broke up, my relationship with his family also came to an end – their choice, not mine. My family is very important to me. I don’t allow them to dictate how I live my life but I would never do anything to cause unnecessary upset or alienate them.

Glad you liked it

Allowing family or friends or both to influence your choice of a life partner is a pretty precarious thing to do with your life. Although they are family they are not going to be your life companion.

I believe it is very presumptuous of family or friends to "forbid" or punish because of a choice made in our own lives. Now if they can see that that person treats you badly well maybe and I say maybe it would be a time to show their discontentment but it will still end up being your choice to stay with that person.

I would hate to sit back in my older years and know that I possibly gave up love because my family, who are not there to die with me, disapproved. It would be a terrible regret at that time.

Thats not what i meant at all. But it is hard to do something that your family wouldn't agree with or may even disown you for doing, ya know

yah i am from ohio thats how it is up there

I'm color blind so I always go with white guys. Does anyone care?

When I was growing up there wasn't a black person in town or school or within 50 or 100 miles for that matter.
I dated a black woman for a short time but she treated me like I was some kind of trophy to show off, it didn't make me feel very good. i may have misunderstood her social behavior. She may have thought she was honoring me.

I think someday we will all be grey and it will be a long and painful process for alot of people, we are not anywhere near where we ought to be yet as a society.
I think that everyone cares what others think somewhere inside and are affected by it. I don't buy into the idea that you can and should just ignore those who are racist, I don't think they will let you.

its also how I feel about 'color blindness', ignoring the elephant in the room is never the solution

addressing racism works better than ignoring it, and honoring and aknowledging racial history (race) works better than being 'colorblind'

I agree. I refuse to date anyone that suffers from "colour blindness". The colour of my skin doesn’t define who I am as a person but it has shaped the woman that I am.

Well..speaking as a black woman who likes to date outside of her race(I don't care what your race..if you're a good guy then thats what I'm looking for)..but YES people still have a HUGE problem with that..but I'm from Alabama so that may be why..in the year 2011..almost 2012 people are STILL very much racist and don't think that people should be allowed to be with whomever they want to..personally I have learned to just ignore idiot people who stare..make smart *** comments etc.