I agree with you here. It's given me a lot to think about.

For women who fear child molesters, why are you dating? I fully admit I wouldn't, due to the whack-jobs out there. After all, even NOT mentioning kiddos right away, it's got to come out eventually.

Hmmm, I can see adoptions and surrogates, to a point. Well, from my view, not surrogates so much, since I'm only interested in men, and if they've carried, then !! But even then, saying, "I was a surrogate, or gave my child up for adoption and will never see them again" is still necessary info. An anonymous sperm donor would be different, but a knowing sperm donor means you really did have a kid.

I got the feeling with these guys was that they had kids, knew it, may or may not pay child support and the ex has the kids and they really don't care, and think they're essentially free.

How about when a child doesn't want anything to do with one of their biological parents anymore? Or sometimes the child will deny their the child of whoever, cos of certain reasons.

The person still has a child. Biologically. Whether the child is involved or not, they still have one. The guy can fill in the details if it comes down to it, but saying "No" when it's really "Yes" is a lie.

I can definitely see where you're coming from, especially when you do finally introduce one's kids, but you're still going to have had to mention having had kiddos before you even meet, right? So, saying "No" on the profile, and then "Yes" in an email is being untruthful.

My profile says i have no children but that i would want children. i did this to protect myself from weirdos. I want people to know i am kid friendly but i also dont want certain types of men targeting me because i have children...

I figure if they see i want children...and they dont, then probably they would not be interested in me either way. if they are kid friendly and dont mind kids, then it should be no problem if i tell them i have kids. I would rather make sure they are interested in me first..

So, you'd literally surprise them with an instant family, if they said they were kid friendly?

But that's hiding important information, especially if you're waiting to see if they're interested in you. If a guy did that to me, it wouldn't be cool as it's just not honest.

I wouldnt say they are shocked...i mean they know when the time is right, but as with any information....things surface at different times, in my own experience it is part of getting to know each other process. I dont hide my children, but its not something i have on my profile directly. i dont wait long and they usually will know before we meet. One thing as well, i usually only date guys who already have children of their own anyways so it has never been a problem for me. My ex husband is a stalker and has told me before he kidnapped my kids from their school....he is restrained with monitored visit. For this particular reason as well, i choose not to list my children and use avatars a lot of the time. when i use my profile pic its usually not up for more than a day or so at a time. Its not malicious intent on my part to deceive a guy. I havent had problem meeting the right guys with my process.

My profile says I have kids, I just don't say anything about them until the time is "right."

People hide all kinds of stuff, by posting up pics of their face when their wastes are like size 18,or saying they are straight when they are actually gay...or saying they are 6'2 when they are 5'9, the list goes on....but protecting your children should not be taken nonchalant. There are countless other reasons and information people have hidden that are just as much a deal breaker as any, like religion for one thing. I tell guys after a few conversations way before I allow a deep relationship to develop. They are either on board or not. I have a great relationship right now with a man who happens to have his own 11 year old son. He knows about my children as well.

I don't have anything about my sons in my profile, i post of my boys all the time. Everyone, here anyway knows i have kids. When asked i tell em i do...

People have killed their children over their perceived interference in relationships. It's creepy to me some would attempted to keep having children a secret.
Weird!
Specially in cases with Lex and Equux, who both make it clear they are not interesting in dating peeps with kids.

But you answered the question of do you have children with "yes, sometimes they live at home." That's all that's needed in a profile about children, in my opinion.

I prefer honesty upfront. If someone can't be honest with me and has to hide something, like their children, we are not going to be a good match.

Exactly, and that is how people weed each other out. Some are understanding while others are not. I have never had an issue regarding my children with men. I find many men are not a match for me, before even having to mention my kids. While the ones I feel are matches... tend to have kids so they are on board with the idea. I go for guys I want. Its usually ones with an understanding heart and an open mind. Those are two qualities i hold high in my book of an ideal man. How many men list they are christian or catholic but are actually neither. Religion tends to weigh in more than children in a lot of peoples lives. But i don't want to stray off topic.

this was never a concern for me and i never had any issues with it

be selective, discerning

ya don't have to bring every date around your kids

Some of us men think the more the merrier, wish I had more than 2.

I would understand holding a whole lot back on here. no one is underany obligation to reveal anything about themselves on here except what they choose to reveal and so entitled for our own reasons that are no one's business

I 'd be suspicious of those who insist that being a busybody is an art or who thinks they're entitled to personal information about u when they barely know you

I will tell what I want to whom I want to and at a time or relationship level that is ay MY comfort level