Lets see. I am 29 yrs old. I met my Daughters Mother and a one night stand occured. She got pregnant, and I did the right thing, I took her in and took care of her. We never really knew each other but I tried so hard to make things work for the sake of my daughter.

After my daughters birth, things came into light between me and my lil girls Mom. We found out that we are totally different, have nothing in common, and because of that do not get along. I could deal with trying to make it work, but my lil girls mom has two kids from a previous relationship. She does not have physical custody of them, and I have spent loads of money on lawyers trying to help her get them back.

Now we are at the end of our relationship. My daughter is 10 months old, and I love her very much. I have been putting off ending the relationship, in fear of my lil girl growing up in a broken home already. I do care for my daughters Mom, I always will for she is the Mother of my baby girl.

Im so messed up now, not sure what to do. I have Money, great job. My lil girls Mom doesnt. We both come from very poor rough backgrounds, I just worked very hard to make it and I have become successful. She hasnt, if we split she goes back to nothing. It hurts me to think how she will struggle without me. And then I think about my lil girl, will she hate me growing up knowing I left her Mom? That also burns me up. Ive never been married and this is my first child. I grew up with no Father, and my Mom died of a drug overdose when I was 14 yrs old, so I know what it feels like to not have yourt parents, I do not want my lil girl to feel that way.

Im sure I will figure this out as I always do, but sharing this helps me figure it out. Anyone that read this, thanks for reading.

I will pray for you & your Family

good luck

First of all it is commendable that you did the right thing. Secondly the fact that you feel such conviction that you're willing to stay in a relationship that could be potentially bad for you is truly a noble thing.

However...

You're not "leaving" her mother persay...as much as you allowing you both to go your own ways and see what's out there. Who's to say that in a few years you two won't be more alike than different? Or maybe you'll find someone who makes you out of this world happy....

Either way...when your daughter grows up and sees that you did the right thing, right off, for her mother but allowed yourself to admit that you were both wrong and have another try at life, I think that when she's old enough she will realize that you needed to be happy.

She will accept and be proud that her parents made the choices they did and that they did what they had to do without compromising their relationship with her to be happy.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you. I also have heard that feeling bad at first it natural but in time it goes away and understanding kicks in. Thanks!

My prayers are with you.

buddy you did the right thing in staying with her after you got her pregnant, but if there is no connection y way of love then all you are doing is hurting yourself and her. i know you have a daughter with her and i know you will always be there for her because she is your little girl but you need to do what is best for you so that you can be the man that your little girl looks up to when she gets older. my prayers are with you brother in the decision you make!!!!!!!

staying with her just for your daughter will just make it worse on all of you. i stayed with the father of my children for 10 years just hoping things would get better. i was scared i couldnt make it w/o him. after we split, i went back to school and am now doing what is best for my kids and he is still active in their lives. the kids took it hard but got over it and wanted both mom and dad to be happy and knew we weren't happy together. good luck in what you decide. follow your heart. i know i had to, and am glad i finally did!

wow !!!what aguy.. my dad died a when I was 3 but my mum left me at birth then reclaimed me after his death and went on to marry 5 more times .. i waorked hard too to get where I am and paid attn .. teach your girl thro example and I firmly beleive it better to live apart with repect than to live together with tension that bebe girl would feel it.. i tell my kids how i love there dad and respect what a great dad he is and they actually tell me that they like it that he is gone as I am more relaxed.. hope that makes sense ...you sound like a good man that one licky lil girl !!!

Well I do admire the choices you have made so far. But I guess I must be the only that is just a tad curious about this. You said that your relationship with her was all a one night stand then you found out she was pregnant. So now my question is how do you know for sure the child is yours did you have an DNA test done. Please don't say because she looks like you. You see one of my sons friends had a similar situation happen he brought the baby by the house and damn if I don't get struck down but the kid looked just like him would be hard to deny. I encouraged him to have the DNA test done for he was not gonna do it do to hte baby looked so much like him. Well he did with the results really hitting home the baby was indeed NOT HIS. Now go figure one never knows for sure. Till the test are in. I don't mean to make you have any kind of doubts just curious if you had the test done or not.

i will say that staying to gether for the sake of the kids never works.If you feel for this woman set up child support and alimony agreements.Sounds like you should have custody also which you can set upample visitation for mom.mom sounds like she needs to get off the pity pot and do something with her life instead of depending on others.As for the DNA test ,thats up to you.

You sound like a very admirable man. I agree that staying with your child's mother is not always the right thing to doo but I think you should talk to the mother about you getting full custody of your daughter while the mother goes to school or finds a decent job and another place to live. Let her get on her feet! If you're parting on good terms, there is no reason for her to be able to see her daughter anytime she wants, and long as it doesn't interfer with your plans. Whatever you decide to do, you'll know what's right and wrong. Good luck......I'll be praying for you.

o you do not want me in here
turns and walks out!

It is not us that you need to talk to at this point of time. It is your wife. She deserves your honesty, but do not forget compassion is also as important. Maybe, the 2 of you can figure how to handle this situation as adults. Just because your relationship did not work out does not mean you both cannot be their for your daughter sake.

P.S.

Decisions do not have to made overnight. In fact, I recommend making any decision the 1st night you discuss this with your wife. Something as complicated as this, needs careful consideration.

P.S.
You should also discuss this issue w/ an attorney before you do anything to protect your rights as a father. Most courts are in favor of the mother, so the cards are already stacked up against you.

Good luck to you, your wife, and your child.

...*hug*

I wish all men were like you hun. Kudo's to you.

I have to say you are a wonderful person and a wonderful father for being there....I have to give you kudos!!!!!

you will be teaching your daughter how to have an unhealthy relationship!!!! you will be helping her mom and your daughter by paying child support and what is more important remaining a big active part in your daughter's life.

sometimes there is nothing much left to do about somethings no matter how hard we try...