I am confused. I meet a guy, we r great together but trying to surpress the excitement, i push the r/n long term so time can tell if it will last.. Perhaps wud have but issues come up & u breakup, u try again & again- same result. U then hear that every r/n got their issues even in marriage, so to me- it seems it aint d time that is strainin my r/ns.. Ok, u start a new one & u advocate settlin down early & it looks like u got somethin u hidin & tryin 2hang on d guy in marriage- so he freaks & we breakup. Lord God, which do i do next.. Long term (at 31) or swift move or .. Stay single & just hav a kid or 2 & forget marriage. PLS ADVICE

r/n ? is anyone else confused? What do registered nurses have to do with this?

Thanks for posting that question... I was just about to as I didn't understand either...

I don't know for sure what r/n is, but if you replace it with the word "relationship" it makes sense.

Anyway, Girl, it sounds like you're trying to control the relationship. If I remember correctly, love has no set formula. If you jump the gun, you don't want to have two kids and THEN find out he's got issues you could have recognized earlier. Likewise, if you keep putting it off, he might think you'll never commit and just give up.

31 is not that old ... next time, why don't you try to go with the flow of things?

Love usually happens when you stop trying so hard.

Think of it like this.. There is an invisible line that goes between the female world and the male world (all one world but with a line), when a guy and girl meet up, they come from their own world and meet up at that line. You can't pull either one over to the other side because thats not how its meant to be (different worlds, rules and ideals). Basically what I am saying is be natural, let it flow and accept each other. Accept for who you (and him) are. Kinda like on that line, you can hold hands over the line, make love on the line, but you can't pull him over to the female side and the opposite also doesnt work.

Hey I agree with Alterette! The moment you start pushing for your relationship to be defined you take your focus off of what is really important in the relationship. Forget about long term or short term marrage or not, just enjoy your relationship and have fun. When the time is right (and you both will feel when the time is right) you will get the commitment you seem to be looking for.