The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.



Did any of you men notice that they are all numbered 1?

J

THANK YOU J, I have a whole new understanding of those alien life forms.

y'all act like there's something wrong with those rules lmaooo

Animal...I thought you would enjoy this one!! I posted it just for the
likes of you in mind!! (smiles)

J

What's up Cookie...What's shakin?!!

nothin but tha bacon baby

KB...you should be able to relate to this one hhhmmm??

Shakin Bacon!!

J

the rules or the shakin bacon?

i'm not big on the rules because i actually like to talk about stuff if
it is botherin someone

King is not the only guy who will actually break some of these rules. I
did discover if you approach one of these animals just right they can be
talked into bending the rules. That is why it is so important for all
women to know and understand the mens rules. Knowledge is power.

Hey Jane, lots going but not something I want to share in public at the
moment.

Animal...I thought you would enjoy this one!! I posted it just for the
likes of you in mind!! (smiles)

The likes of me in mind sheeeeesh :-P lol
Actually, most of those rules don't apply to me Let's go thru them shall
we? lol

Ok I'm not a mind reader

I always leave the toilet seat down

I don't watch sports on Sunday...occassionally I watch Hockey Night in
Canada on Saturday night

Shopping isn't a sport

Crying IS blackmail

Why do women hint around?..for God's sake be direct

"Yes and No ARE perfectly acceptable answers to most questions"..Mental
Health professionals will tell you the same thing

Ok, as far as sympathy goes, if yer involved in a serious relationship,
you should be there for her no matter WHAT!!

A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem

"anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument"...Darn
right, stick to what we're arguing about..Arguing with women is like
being in Viet Nam..you never know what direction the next shot is coming
from lol

"If you won't dress like Victoria's secret girls"...My ex used to
complain cuz I'd never get dressed up...this coming from someone I
rarely saw out of her jogging pants and large frumpy top

"If you think yer fat, you prolly are"...QUIT ASKING US IF SOMETHING
MAKES YOU LOOK FAT...this question is a land mine for men. We can't win
no matter what we answer..now THAT is something that your g/f's are for
lol

"If something we said can be taken two ways..." ok this one is true, we
sometimes have a habit of saying something without fully thinking it
thru or realizing what it might sound like AFTER it leaves our yaps

"You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done"...my ex was famous for his one..she'd ask me to do something then
get pissed off at me cuz it wasn't the way she would have done it...too
bad, next time..do it yerself

"whenever possible, please say what you need to say during the
commercials" Hey..if it's something important or something that's
bugging you by all means, speak up...just don't bug me while the hockey
game is on to ask me what I'm thinking lol

"Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions..." Hell, I got NO prob
asking for directions.

Wtf is mauve anyway, or chartreuse for that matter?

"If it itches, it will be scratched"...yep

After years of marriage and dating I've discovered that the word NOTHING
is woman code for "yer an ass"

"If you ask a question you don't want an answer to..." this is true for
anyone really

"When we have to go somewhere anything you wear is fine, really"
Nothing worse than a woman who takes longer to decide what to wear to
the grocery store than the time actually spent IN the grocery store.

"Don't ask us what we're thinking..." You'd be amazed at how much we
DON'T think about stuff, unless it's sex, food, sleep or sports

You DO have enough clothes and you DO have too many shoes. then again,
you wouldn't be women if ya didn't lol

Round IS a shape...if you've kept up yer physical condition then you
have some right to bring it up, but if yer hourglass figure looks more
like a pear now, don't be throwin stones so to speak lol

And sleeping on the couch is like camping..just don't try and get a fire
going in the middle of the living room floor..man was my ex ever pissed

To one and all.