Let me explain how the process works...........first they start to take control of little things in your life......then as they get you isolated they take more control.......and as they do this they condition you to believe that no one else wants you around, or loves you.......that he is the only person that will treat you good......you try to get away from the situation, and he woes you back.......then when he is done with the games and wants other fields to play in he kicks you out.......when he finds out that other people wont play he tries to lure you back............I didnt go back................so unless you have lived the process or been close you will never understand it.......it is up to the abused victim to find herself or himself...it takes time and constant work.........to believe in yourself again...........so until you have walked in the shoes of an abuse victim....you dont know what you would do.

hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm

interesting very interesting

well said snuggles....

snuggles that may be the case most of the time but after

double digit years

that is not the case

I was married for 10 years Adj

read my post on page 1

I dont know why she did what she did.........maybe the pull was too strong........I just know that I will never again allow myself to be in a situation like that.........because I am worthy of being treated well....

as we all are usually

hugs

glad you got yourself back

Still working on finding me............but Im getting there...............

Normally I wouldnt of said anything about this subject but sometimes things need said....to help others understand a little..

me too

i may have mentioned 10 times over the last five years or so

don't need a pity party

but sometimes someone needs to know they are not alone

thank you

Mental and physical abusers make the the victim feel as if it is their fault and that they are worthy of any thing better. She got away from it and she should have seen the difference. He probably convinced her that it wouldn't happen again. I lived with a mental abuser for years and someimes you just don't see it untill you are out of it. And I for sure know whatI don't want any part of again.

As an abused person myself I can tell you that self esteem and worth are very low.She felt she didnt deserve your friend's love or she just ran back to what she knew instead of taking a chance on someone new.
Your friend needs time to heal and then he needs to move on.some people you have to love from a distance so their drama doesnt destroy you too.

(((((((((((((TO ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN ABUSED))))))))))))))))))may you continue to grow in your self worth, because you are a special person...who deserves the best



((((((((((((TO ANYONE WHO HAS LOST A LOVE)))))))))))))))because of being abused......the ones who lose someone to an abuser need a hug to realize that they are not to blame...they did the best they could, and know that your a good person for caring, and doing your best

Just a little update, i will be flying down to support him, seems he cannot get anolled because he does not meet the anollment requirements, I am just gonna go down there and support him as he has supported me and had my back for 18months, he has no-one really there for him. He is taking it quit well and also realizes how sick she is and feels that thank god this happen now instead of years or months down the line.

Wow That is really messed up your right!!! i agree that she must have some issues tho and as hurtful and hard as it is and will be for your mate maybe lucky its done. He has every right(in canada ) to make dam sure that the mentalwife beater is not treating the kids the same.. which is very likely ! get them safe is she is to selfish too.
remind him hes a hero he already has the strenght to get thro it as you are too... SALUTE!!!

give him our love and prayers will ya.

your a good friend dave and big hugs to him..

It'a really sad when things like this happens for what every reason thoey do. We coud sit back and analyze it till we turn blue in the face and would sttill not know the real reasons these things happen to another. As far as your friend he should be thankful he found out so early. Know that is not what they would want to hear. But then do we ever want to face reality head one.

WoW!!! what a guy !!!!