Some of you already know that My Dad has cancer and only treament for him is horomones shots,every 3- weeks.They slow it down but doesn't kill it. once he weight 275 and now he is 165 now,his poor arms and legs are so skinny.someday's he sleeps most of the day away,but then again he has some good days.He has gotten a I don't care attitdue[ spell-wrong] he has no savings at all,he has let his tralier fall apart,dishwasher quit,big deal/washer leaks,big deal/truck needs work on,big deal/air condtion quit 5 days ago,big deal.HE DOESN'T NOT CARE... He said that sometimes he wishes it would all end,he is ready to go home,that I'm the only reason that he keeps hanging on.I don't know how to deal with this. I pray all the time and I'm thankfully that God lets me have him another day.But I feel bad when he tells me,I'm the reason,he is still here,in pain and unhappy.Yes,it will be rough,when I do lose him as it would be on anyone who lose a love one. I wish that was all I had to write about. Since 2004 I've been a caregiver to my aunt, She lost her left leg in 2004 and then she lost her right leg in 2009. she has vascular disease,confied to a wheelchair,wears diapers and smokes like crazy,she was told 15 years ago to stop.Oh No. I had to move back home,so I can take care of her and my dad. Now She has 2 second degree burn on her short leg, burn from inside out, yes,it can do that. why? We hope to find out on Friday, they are going to run tests on her,also she will have laser surgery to cut off the burn place. Dad is 75 and Nita is 65. Please pray for them and me,I need the strengh to get through all of this. THANKS YOU FOR LETTING ME BORROW YOUR SHOULDERS. Yes,I've my sons but they have jobs and familes and there are just some things that you can't talk to family about. May God Bless You All.

we all have burdens to bear. at times it seems that the load is too heavy, or walking away from the situation is the only relief. ending it all together would be paradise. yet we are a society that has been built up by shouldering responsibility. some carry their own load, and some can carry their load and help others to carry a load as well. all i can say is that your load will NEVER be more than you can carry. at times you could use a hand, and if you call out, a hand (or even several) will be there. someone you know or a total stranger will reach out and give you the relief you need to allow yourself time to gather yourself up and continue on your journey. the time has come for you to reach out and receive the help you need. it will come (if it hasn't already) and will be exactly enough to strengthen you. i guarantee i guarantee that your strength is enough to carry what you have, and when you need help, you can call out, and help will come SWIFTLY (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) blessings to you dear lady dicho hecho

I am so sorry to hear this! Ya know my prayers are with you & your Family!

I am so sorry...

My mom passed about 16 months ago ... instead of contracting into my grief in wanting to keep her here another day, I expanded my love and made it completely about what she needed to prepare for her passage home. It is the most selfless thing I could think to do ... and in the end the most self-ful.

It was an honour to walk with her at the end of her life. The journey taught me much...

Love and light to you and your family

{{{{{Ruby}}}}}

Much love to you, my friend. I understand what it is that you are going through, know that you are in my prayers and can borrow a shoulder any time you want.

Popcornncoke...

I know what you are going through. The situation with me is both similar and different. My father is in his second bout with cancer, and he had a sextuple bypass about 18 months ago. My dad also lost a lot of weight. He was 265, now he is 180. He always had large, muscular forearms, but just the other day I noticed how skinny they had become. He hardly eats. He sleeps at least 12 hours each day. He has no stamina. He can barely climb the front steps. He has difficulty breathing. He constantly complains about pain in his stomach.

Last year, on my birthday of all days, my mother passed away from cancer. I had to take care of her, along with my sister and my mother's friends while my dad was in the hospital. Neither of them were able to work much. I had to start helping them with the bills, and with cooking and cleaning the house. Then my truck died - it was the transmission. I had to buy another vehicle, and had to go without one for a month until I could save enough money to buy something that would last a while.

When my mother died, my father did not help with any of the costs. My two siblings and I had to pay for all of it. Now no one wants to help my father, so I am stuck doing it. I have to do the cooking, the cleaning, the yard work, pay property taxes, etc. It has drained my finances, and there is more work than I can handle by myself. Especially the yard work because of the size of the yard and how many gardens have been planted in it. (There are at least 8 gardens.) Unfortunately, the one friend I could count on to help me messed up his own life, and is no longer available. I don't want to be in this situation because I was ready to move forward in my own life. But, I can't abandon my dad like everyone else has. In the end, I doubt he will even appreciate it, but he is family. It's about being able to live with myself despite the sacrifice it requires.

Part of the reason I stay with my father now is because he is all alone. It gives him someone to talk to. It gives him a chance to pass on his memories. Inside, he is scared even if he doesn't admit it. He talks like he will live another 5 years, but I know the pain in his stomach is because the cancer has spread. Realistically, he has 6 to 12 months. If his breathing problems are cancer related, then he likely has only 3 to 6 months. He won't admit it, but I know. It's about making him comfortable so he can let go without regret when he knows the time has come.

Your father is likely telling you that he is scared, but without actually admitting it. Maybe he does want to let go, but he doesn't want to die with fear or regret. He likely has depression because of it. It could even be that he is afraid of dying alone. Many people are.

I knew that some day my dad would die alone. I knew what people really thought of him, but wouldn't say to his face. I have stood up to my dad when others wouldn't. Now when I see everyone else making my words ring true, I can't leave. And honestly, I see him dealing with it better than I expected. I can tell how lonely and scared he sometimes feels by the way he talks. I also see the peace of mind he has as he reflects back on past experiences. He has always been a grumpy, angry, stubborn man, and sometimes it still shows. I have also seen him soften knowing that someone is still around who cares. That is the important part.

So know that you are not alone. As Ese said, we all have burdens to bear. Sometimes they are heavier than others, but if we do things for the right reasons, then we know the struggle will lead us to a lighter burden later on. Hang in there. Do the best you can. But never ever feel bad about reaching out for help or comfort. It may be the only way you can keep yourself together.

There comes a time in everyone's life they must ask for a little help in order to gather the strength to move on.

This is your time check out Volunteers in your area if only for a couple of hours a week to give you a breather...

As for your Dad and his concerns it will be one of the hardest things to do but will be rewarding in the end. It is time to give your blessings to let him move on.

I have been in that situation and I still feel to this day the best thing I ever did was sit down and held my grandmother's hand and told her it was time for her to move on. She was miserable and was only hanging on due to my brother and me. It was not easy but she deserved to have peace and to know we would be okay. Shortly after I left her bed side she gained her wings to fly...... I knew that I had done the right thing....

Ask for help in order for you to have some me time then you will be able to find the strength in the journey ahead.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy Will be done,
On Earth,
As it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen

God I ask that you take Dad and Nita into your loving arms and fill them with courage and joy, and whatever else they may need to get through this very difficult time.
I ask this in the name of your son, "Jesus Christ".
Amen

Thank You All For Your Words. I knew that you wouldn't let me down,that you would hear me. My heart goes out to those that has lost a love one,that has gone through what I'm. Never think that I think that I'm the only one that has alot on their shoulders, for I don't. I say prayers everynight for the people that lost their homes and their love ones. I know that there are other people hurting. I hope you can understand my words,I'm not very good with them. I just needed someone to listen to me,share with me. I can feel the power in your words and they do make me feel that I can make it and if I need a shoulder,that you'll be there. Thank-you mingle family. make god bless you all and keep you safe.

I love you Babe...

you can email me anytime you wanna talk.

Im right here.

Prayers for you and your dad..if I were closer I would offer to help..

Also prayers for Actionlynx and his dad..

Know that your fathers love you even if they don't say it..and what you give to them will come back to you twofold...

Hi Sweetie

I'm so glad you put this up. No need to go through this alone. There's many of us who look through these threads during our prayer time. It's nice to know there is such a number of spirits reaching out to you as you are them.

our prayers are with you and your family

love & light

michael

http://www.riversongs.com/cards/loveofgod.html

Praying God will not only give you strength, but

help and rest along the way,Precious.

((((((((((Popcornncoke))))))))))

Doctor said that things are going okay but when he took a blood-test,he put's him on pills. This Doctor doesn't give straight answer's. I want to know what is going on. I mean we need time to get paper-work and other things in order.He has good days and bad days. My aunt might have to have surgery on her leg again,if they cut off any more,she will have nothing left[already up to her girly-part] Sorry guy's... They think it was cause by a blood-clot,you can burn inside out. We are waited for her doctor,to set up the surgery.I take her to the womb-center every week for them to check it. Please remember us all in your prayers.

Yes, im doing this again, it cant hurt.



The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy Will be done,
On Earth,
As it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Father, I ask that you take dad, nita, and popcorn, under your protective wings of mercy, and that you give each one the strength that they so need now to get through all of this.

I ask this in the name of your son,Jesus Christ.
Amen.

And I will continue to pray for you and your family.
luv

I think about you guys from time to time, and my prayers and healing wishes are with you always. As a few others have said, we are all here for you anytime you need us.

As you might rememeber, I too was taking care of my mom for the last ten years...she passed in November. She also said that she was just staying here for me. They seem to feel stuck trying to stay here to be here, in general, and for us, but at the same time wanting to go. If he's still fighting, then he's not ready...whether for you or for himself. It tore me apart, but as much as I fought for so long to keep her here, and make things easier for her, at the end I had to have the courage to tell her it was ok to go, that we would be alright.

Also, there should be some type of Hospice program in your area that could help, if they're willing. I'm sending extra vibes of courage, patience, serenity, and love to you.

Popcorn, I'm adding you and yours to my prayer list. Also Actionlynx. G-d bless you both for your love and compassion in the face of something so difficult. And thank you for sharing with us; it means a lot for me to pray for you.

Love in Messiah

wellPopcorn,,its been a long while,,and it sounds like you have more than four peoples jobs there doing,,,I am so sorry you have this all on your shoulders,,but I also know YOU,,wouldn't want anyone else in the family doing your job,,,My dad passed away twenty five years ago,,remember it like yesterday,,He was druged and just came right out yelling mad and sai,,,DAMNNN IT TERRY LEE WANT THE POINT OF PROLONGING IT?
I knew then,,what YOU know NOW,,,you have to let your dad know its ok,,for him to leave you,,and as my own tears fall here tying THATS not an easy thing to do,,but I TOLD MINE he was going to be fine,,,well,,I was wrong,,YOU and your dad know,,he is leaving soon,,and the more you both can,,and DO talk about THAT to each other,,the MORE HE CAN FEEL THAT PEACE,,,A slow death by cacer is something no one should EVER have to go through or witness...I am sooo sad for all your involved with there,,IF I could I would come by and give you a hug,,and try and help,,
And I just bet Nita is at times a real handfull,,wink,, when you have folks you love so much,,and the whole family LOOKS AT YOU to be the one to spend all your time TRYING and DOING for you three,,its very hard to DO THAT ALONE,,,,I would Pray to God and ask him IF it is His time to be taken could you please let him go soon Lord and while he's sleeping,,so he does not feel any fear..I have asked God THIS SAME,,many times,,for my friends who have passed and some of my family,, AS this is going to go on with you and everything there,,,YOU NEED A BREAK,,,I don't care WHO takes your place for a day,,,but YOU NEED A DAY AWAY,,w/o thinking of them,,and turn to your kids,,to help you find some smiles,,and always know God's with you every step,,,talk with Himoften,,and find a day to be YOU,,because really,,,YOU HAVE THEM DEPENDING ON YOU TO BE THERE...right? ok,,IF you fall apart and get sick,,and broken down,,,they and you will be LOST,,,so,,,a day for you,,Prayers for both of them,,,and talk about death with your dad,,,,I was able to joke with my Mother,,as WE talked of her possible passing,,,but she made a turn around,,,But its through having THAT release with yourself and your dad,,that IF he is called,,,YOU KNOW in yoour heart,,that its all what it was to be....LOVE LIGHT AND HUGS and I will Pray for all three of you,,,email me anytime,,,