I feel like just sitting here and eating like 500 pizza's because why am I watching my weight and doing kickboxing. At the end of the day..it hasn't changed a thing....my body perhaps, but that's about it.

How long have you been doing it?
Give it some time, you'll see the difference - not just physically, but mentality - clarity, more focus, pride in your willpower and accomplishments, etc. *


Now, I'm gonna drink that chocolate shake I just ordered



* do as I say, not as I do

I'm sitting here snacking on salsa/cheese & chips. Minus the cheese the salsa & chips are low cal!! I couldn't fit in another pair of jeans today! Oh, well I'm lonely & bored what the heck!! lol

Nah, I have lost a ton of weight, what I am saying is, why am I working so hard to look good when I am still just a lonely girl. I might as well enjoy some hot stuff crust pizza with ranch....since probably no-one gonna talk to me anyhow....thats what I am saying.

Where is your shake from. I love the carls jr. chocolate shakes, they are the best.

yesterday I bought the seve layer dip from albertsons, and it was dry and gross. it needed guacamole or something. I ended up throwing it out.

I need to be stressed more. When I'm highly stressed I don't eat. Now when I'm all calm I eat too much!! I've eaten all day! Licking cheese off my fingers while I type!! Oink!!!

Hell, go get the stuffed crust pizza then!
And you aren't doing it for THEM, you're doing it for YOU!!

And we'll all talk to you, I know -- soooo not what you meant, but, gotta find something positive!

Shake from the little dairy diner down the road, they make really good ones! It's cold and rainy here and I wanted a chocolate milkshake. They brought it to me!! I love small towns!

Hell, go get the stuffed crust pizza then!
And you aren't doing it for THEM, you're doing it for YOU!!

And we'll all talk to you, I know -- soooo not what you meant, but, gotta find something positive!

Shake from the little dairy diner down the road, they make really good ones! It's cold and rainy here and I wanted a chocolate milkshake. They brought it to me!! I love small towns!

we need to splurge sometimes...I just ordered a pizza, and now i am going to enjoy every bite---yummm

I too kick box, lift weights, cycle, and have lost weight. I too am alone and no one will see me either. The difference is I wouldn't stop because of that. I enjoy being healthy and this is why I eat healthy and work out. So, put your health first.

I wouldn't eat right and be healthy for anyone else but you. You gotta be happy first.

I am happy, but i am also fricken hungry....and possibly pms-ing or something....who knows...

Lookin' bringing a choco shake to your house....NICE!

dammit, i only had two pieces and I am already full. Im thirsty too-

lets go get a beer then... a light beer...

yay let's...

You got me in the mood for pizza now lollllll but you look great lets eat some pizza together and then your not alone:)))))))) cheers

i'm ready.. i haven't a beer in what, 3-4 hours? been to long... hey wait.. did you say yes? wow, i almost forgot what thats like...wooohooo! i guess i'll have to move to cali now..

no i said yay lets, haha jk. damn that was quick----dont get me pregnant...lol

I went eat healthy overseas. I love it there. Here there is not much offered but crap, crap and more crap. Too much GMOs here.

And when I walk, bike or walk some more, I do it for me, not for a man or woman. I love walking and biking. I love hiking and climbing. I don't give a rat's patottie if a guy thinks I am fat. I am happy with myself. Sure, I could lose some weight and get back to pre-mommyhood size, but these are curves of love.

I am not going to fall into the Hollywood stigma of having to be anorexic after childbirth. I love my curves. Yes, I am currently alone, but that doesn't mean I haven't dated.

My bff commented once that she had talked to my former boyfriend (before our break-up) because she wanted to know why she (an obese woman) couldn't find a love life, but me, (slightly less obese by 10 lbs) had men chasing me. He informed her, "I never saw her weight. Yes, she could lose some, but when I first met her, it wasn't her weight. It was the way she carried herself. She walks with confidence. Her personality shines through. Her eyes sparkle with life. That draws you in. You never see her as a fat woman because she dresses tastefully for her size and accentuates the positive and doesn't let her weight take from the rest of what she has to offer."

Same came from a neighbor I dated for a while. When I told him I was sad about not being able to lose weight, he said, "I never saw your weight. It was never an issue for me. The way you carry yourself never suggested that you had issues."

This is showing that men often will over look the weight and "fitness" in a woman if she carries herself with confidence and loves herself for who she is. I love me. I never loved me till I forced myself to start staring in the mirror every morning and say, "F**k yeah. I am a DAMN SEXY woman and I rock. I am beautiful and strong." (Yeah, grew up with self-esteem issues.) I had eating disorders. I was much thinner than I should have been.

My doctors were concerned with my first daughter. I was 120lbs at conception. When I had my first daughter, I weighed a whopping 124lbs. She was 4lbs 4oz. Neither of us was healthy. But I had an eating disorder.

That (the risk I put on my baby) was when I started working to gain my self-esteem.

My second blew me up. I am not afraid to talk about my weight. I was 185lbs when I had her. Still struggle with the baby fat to this day.

My husband didn't care. He loved every extra inch of me. Still does to this day. No man I dated after him cared either. They loved me for me. I had only one man display displeasure about my appearance. He now lives a very lonely existence and eats alone every night and sleeps in a large bed alone with his cat. He wanted love, love came, but not in the package he dreamed of. His loss. I am happy.

I am not saying to go gorge yourself every day and stop exercising. If it makes you feel good, do it. But do it for you. Don't do it in the hopes of finding true love.

I love the euphoria I get from feeling the wind in my hair when I ride my bike, getting to stop and watch birds, drift off into the sunset, do and go what and where cars can't.

I love walking. I love listening to my mp3 player and going into a new different world with the music and breathing fresh(ish) air and feeling the sun warm my skin.

I do it cause I want to. Sure I could buy a car. But the freedom I have from walking and biking makes my heart happy and healthy.

And the best thing?

I do it for me.

And because I do it for me, I find more men "knocking at my door" than when I was anorexic and depressed.


MORAL: Love you for you before you let others love you.

damn.. there's that word again... no..