I don't go for that sheeeeet any more. I refuse to.

I just keep pressing zero until something happens.

In some new companies' new systems they smartened up to me, and zero does nothing. Then I sit down and moan. And plot my revenge.

I mean, I actually tested this. Not by design, but the design was there. I kept calling company X, that is bilingual, has five product lines, and has sales, support, technical support, billing and accounts, and fulfilment that I can choose, in seven easy button presses in a record seventeen minutes (provided I wait to the end of each list I need to hear out, theoretically.)

I did away with all that already in 1996. I keep pressing zero.

Under a minute I get to speak to a human. I ask any question -- sales, fulfilment, billing, etc. -- and no matter what I ask, the person looks me up on the screen and gives precise responses to my queries.

So the button pressing is futile. I don't know why they have that -- it does not cut down on number of callers, its only achievement is to increase customer irritation.

To offset the effect of customer irritation on the help line employees, they introduced this "your call will be monitored" and then later, "...recorded". I have a way with that too. You call the operator names, but not swear names. You can tell him what you think of his family, of his accent, of his education, but don't use the f word, or the c word or any swearwords. They are not allowed to hang up on you until you say an expletive. This can be fun. I am actually addicted to it and call 1-800 numbers at random, of companies I have no business with, only to feed my addiction.