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Topic: Friendship Advice
Crystal297201984's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:28 PM


My best friend has married this guy, who doesn't like me.
Here's a little more info on the story. We've known each other for 12 years, have been best friends for 7 years. Last year she hooked up with this guy, who only wanted to be **** buddies. Which was there plan. Well until she ended up wanting more. Well after telling him that it was either a relationship or nothing, he picked a relationship. Well a few months after that, she ended up getting pregnant, and they got married 6 months later. This guy doesn't like me because, i always wanting the best for my friend, told her that she deserves better, i've seen how the guy treats her. He doesn't even like for her to call me. I invited them to a cook-out here at my house (i invited all 3, her, the husband and the baby). Well, they showed up, but only for me to hear that she had to agree to let him "buy his racecar" before he would allow her to come. She agreed and they come.

I know it's not really my business.....but i do believe she deserves someone a lot better than this guy. Someone who's not gonna make her choose between, her family, friends or having him. Do any of you guys have any advice for this situation/


The two of them only got married after she found out she was married.

nurjoyce's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:33 PM
you are right--not your business
i mean the fastest way to end your friendship will be to get in the middle. you will not win. she will find out for herself. it is hard to see the people we love make the wrong decisions and get hurt, but all we can do is be there for support.
like i told my son when he was dating a girl i did not like..if for some reason you end up marring her- i would have no choice but to learn to love her and i would...he broke off.
sometimes when you keep interfering you push them closer....
just my opinion and 2 cents worth.

unsure's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:33 PM
Is your friend IN love with him? It is her life...so I would let her live it. I think she knew what the situation was going to be before she married him. All you can do is be there for you if she needs you, but give her space and let her try to make her marriage work!
Good luck flowerforyou

MenelikG's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:33 PM
You're not going to like this one bit but . . . It's her life, your friendship says speak your piece, bow out to her choice, then be there if it goes bad for her.
Trying to make her do something that you think is best is why relationships fail and friendships last. . .

kojack's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:34 PM
huh ?

The two of them only got married after she found out she was married

unsure's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:34 PM
I think she means pregnaunt

oldsage's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:36 PM
Keep the friendship & be there when she needs you.
It will happen

T00Lfan's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:36 PM
Take two steps back and pray/hope your friend can see the error of her ways.

The truth is, she was the one who wanted him. I would not put yourself in the middle of it. Things can go very badly, very quickly.

Crystal297201984's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:40 PM
Sorry...only got married after she found out she was pregnant.



sandylou2456's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:41 PM

I can understand that you hate to see your friend get hurt, but bow out of her business...Will only interfere with your friencship with her....

Just my 2 cents worth..

no photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:46 PM
she will do what she wants in a state of bliss be there to pick up the peices

Crystal297201984's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:47 PM
I know that she got herself into this...and i've told her that if she needed me i would be here, no matter what. I've even tried to be friends with this guy, so that i could see my friend more, but he makes it so difficult. It's hard to be in the same room with someone who acts so nasty toward you all the time, and never does anything for himself. It's very tempting sometimes to tell the fuc*er...get off you ass and get a beer for yourself. I can tell she's unhappy. I'm really just worried that he's doing something to make her stay.

no photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:51 PM
leave them alone..she will realize it for herself and come to her senses..(hopefully)..the more u push..the more she will stick to the jerk..

T00Lfan's photo
Thu 07/05/07 01:54 PM
This may sound harsh, but sit back and watch the train-wreck, then help pick up the pieces.


ArtGurl's photo
Thu 07/05/07 02:03 PM
Part of loving my friends is to allow them to be them. And to allow them to walk their path their way...as hard as it is sometimes.

Support her as best you can ... listen, offer perspectives ... ultimately it is her life to live.

Puffins1958's photo
Thu 07/05/07 03:16 PM
I can understand that you want to protect your friend from heartache....but she married him for a reason...whether or not you agree with it. When she needs you....you will probably be there for her, in the mean time it is her life to live.

SV1200's photo
Thu 07/05/07 03:19 PM
damn ya'll are harsh. Although this guy dislikes you, he knows that you probably hate him the same. Someone needs to be the bigger person and squash it. This is ur friends life & it's just one more obstacle in her life that is un-needed (her husband and best friend hating eachother) Be nice now!! :)

adj4u's photo
Thu 07/05/07 03:26 PM
well all i can say is

if you keep knocking him

plan on finding a new friend

she has made her choice and i am guessing she is an adult

so if you want her in your life

you are going to have to deal with him

or you will soon be no longer in her life

but hey what do i know

Native_Grl39's photo
Thu 07/05/07 04:16 PM
Well my advice is not to pressure her...She has to see these things for herself and all you can do is be her friend and stand by her no matter what...BUT without judgement..The more you pressure her...the more she will resent being around you...Trust me if he is that bad...her eyes will only remain closed for sooooooo long!!!!!!!!!


flowerforyou drinker

Dayv's photo
Thu 07/05/07 04:30 PM
Friends are 4-ever....Lovers come and go!

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