<--- bows in abject humbleness (or so it appears; he is chatic neautral afetrall)

What are your wishes for this cleric today my love?

Happy 4Th Of July My Queen !!!

Dorkfish
In the California Dersert scientist found bones of a prehistoric porpus and there saying its interesting because it's upper jaw skicks out alot further than its lower jaw. And there trying to figure out if the upper jaw was used for mating or catching fish... and im thinking.... What if its just a goofy looking fish? you know like a Dorkfish?

It's like "oh this ain't the ocean! Whew! I better find me some water!"

Could you imagine if you were fishing and you caught a Dorkfish... Cause you know your friends would be like...

"Hey man... what kind of fish is that?"

You'd be like

"Oh... nuthin"

Cause you know that fish would stick its head out of that bucket and be like...

" I'm a Dorkfish! He caught me on a corn dog! I was swimmin' underneith the ocean and I said whats a corndog doin' underneith the ocean? But you know me boy I love those damn corndogs boy! whew! I saw that bad boy, I bit it... BOOM! I was in the boat thats the the last thing I knew!"

I'd be cool if they sold them in pet stores, cause you know how people say pets look like there owners.

It's like you go to your friends house...

"Hey Bufurt, what kind of fish is that?"

"Dorkfish" "I'm just fixin' to feed him"

"What do you feed a Dorkfish?"

"Corndog" "Boy they just gobble them up! But you got to take that stick out they'll eat that stick!"

happy forth everybody. i need potion of restore fatique i need help wakinup.

either that or a cup of coffeee.

One Hot of Coffee for the Queen....

Here's an increase Stamina Potion as well....

oh thank u i can use that today

I live to serve......

Happy 4th of July...

As You Wish

thanks for posting that kater. it is such my fav routine

I know, i have him on Cd..yeah i bought Bill's CD of Dorkfish..my kids love him

Whatyou need my queen is a daily morning workout! This will make you much more limber and alert, and you can enjoy every minutes of the workout. i will be glad to teach you the finer points of said workout if youwould follow me into the private exercixe chamber

Here's your sign

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning. No problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign... until he says "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig, then back to him and said, "No I'm delivering a bridge ...Here's your sign!"

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then goes, "Darn that's hot!" See?
If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "all right Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

he he. i better bring my paladin along for protection and get my level 13 80dam. elvin longsword.

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

Talking about stupid people, I was behind a lady in a grocery store at the checkout counter. The cashier scanned her items and bagged them as the lady wrote out a check. She hemmed and hawwed a bit trying to recall the correct date to write on her check, or so I thought.

She then clearly and in all seriousness asked the cashier "how do you spell IGA?"

Actual Letters to Landlords

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"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."


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"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."


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"I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my nob off."


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"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."


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"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."


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"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."


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"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."


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"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."

wow u might want to put all that in the joke thread it'll get more hits in there

Level 7 zombie attacks! what do you do?

Personally...I step around him...zombies are slow =P