damn it.....i say this because im hurt and very frustrated at the same time. my second go around with a girl i have known since high school, this story could go on for days so gonna get with it.. the first time we got together it was very soon in the relationship that she wanted to know if i would consider marriage down the road i had just been through a divorce and this was not on my to do list anytime soon but didnt really mind the question but it was kind of early we had only been dating for a little while,then came the love word, im not scared of that either but thought it was early then came am i talking to other girls,asked me to drop all my friends that were girls,then i dont pay enough attention to her, and on and on and on i new it was a insecurity thing and tried to convince her i really cared about her and her only but it didnt help and became sort of frustrating the more i would here it,and then she would get upset because i would get defensive. the last thing that she ended up doing was going through my e-mail without my permission and found out i was on a dating site i did all i could to convince her i handnt joind this site (fling) sent to my e-mail because i look at porn and that just happens i guess. anyway.. got dumped!!! it just sucks i cared about her and really had some good times and miss her alot. the frustration comes from the fact that i did care very much for her but didnt like the relationship to be forced and it felt that way.. and the insecurties were wearing me out...i couldnt tell her i loved her because it was just so hard to!!! alot of thinds were left out of this story just to keep it short as possible but thats kind of it to keep it short. it sucks alot!!!!

in the end, i think you know this was not going to last

In the end you got the best part of the deal; she left.

Seems to me you know what to do.

Tell her what you told us?

so what porn sites lmao:

Sounds like a very hurt little girl....but also sounds like u may have given her signs and reason not to trust.....I tell a guy I am on the dating site for forums if dating.....and they r welcome to read my posts no biggie.....if I want to look at porn they know and am willing to share that with them and would hope it would be visa versa........sounds like she needs to find trust as well as soomeone completely open.....if there is nothing to find there is nothing to mistrust over JMO

..so i'm a thinkin' ..ya got more time for video games and friends and hanging out and checkin' out hot chicks,without someone beating ya in the brain about crap drama..so where's the problem..oh yea the broken heart..two words..DUCT TAPE...

Sounds like a very insecure girl. The dating webiste thing, was probably HUGE in her eyes. I don't think you ever could have had peace with a relationship with this girl. Sounds like she needed to work on her insecurities. Sorry that you got hurt, it happens to the best of us. Jsut work in getting over her, and realize that it was probably for the best in the long run.

yes this is insecurity BIG TIME!

women like this need help to love themselves more....

you were not put in this world to worship her and only her.....

lookin at porn???


this is where the insecurities of a woman really shine through!!

Hummm sounds to me she has trust issues she needs to deal with.

But then it seems you were not ready for a relationship as well.. I can understand some of her questions.

It seems possibe you may have told her what she wanted to hear just to keep her around even though you did not feel the same way or want the same things she did...

As far as the porn well each to there own, anything done in moderations and as long as it does not take over ones life I see no problem with it..

Humm even I would question someone for joining a dating site after we started dating. If they were there prior and they were socializing more then per-say dating then it should not be a probem... Guess it all depends what the intentions are.

I'm not all into the date everyone you can thing. So yeah even I would ask if they want a casual date once in a while or is it going to be a one on one type thing.... For if they are dating several then that is fine for them but........not my cup of tea....

But...........then it could be that you had no intentions of things going any farther either for the feelings were not there. If they are not there it is just not there. At those times I feel it is best just to tell them and move on.....

No reason to hold someone back from being with someone that wants all the same things that they do.....

as somebody who has been on the other side of the coin and who has been the one that found out her fella was on a dating website among other things i have to say its very hard to get the trust back after its been broken. Once insecurities are there they dont go away so id say its best that you both move on and start over, and dont repeat any mistakes u may have made in the last relationship. good luck, hope u find somebody u can trust and that can tust u completely.

All of this is just ********. The way that men and women treat each other in realtionships. And how we get screwed in the end. This is what I like 2 call Social Nazis. People who love 2 turn other people against each other and them bein anti-social cuz they have nothin better 2 do. We try 2 b good people and what do we get in return? Rejection bein one of them but more like loading a shotgun and when the moment is right bang! Pull the trigger and they say checkmate. Wrong. They think they can get us in checkmate but they never do.

i did not join the site.......and if she would have just asked she was more than welcome to look at my e-mails, i had nothing to hide.

if it were me i wouldn't try to see if "third times a charm"

thanks for the grins..........

ditto

The way I see it is now you time to enjoy your life.

Embrace it!

Someone should care and love you for who you are not try to change you.

Same goes for her.

She didn't take you as you are, you couldn't give her what she wanted... everybody loses.

I think it is a general problem in couples that each comes to the table with a fixed idea of what they want... they forget that the point is to meet empty handed at the table, in order to build something together.

Sorry for your loss brother, but that's what it is: a loss. Lick your wounds, do things for yourself that you enjoy, and move on - it's a big world, things are bound to happen, guaranteed!

well said...thanks

unrealistic expectations fueled by insecurity, fear and self-centerdness...from both sides...the "relationship" never had a chance.

live and learn I guess...