Something I've noticed about people on dating sites, and this seems to be pretty consistent with almost every site I've tried:

For some reason, the typical person who contacts me on a dating site is a 48-year-old women with 3 kids and who likes to drink. They send me e-mails along the lines of "I think we'd make a real good match!" and so on.

So, I write back, thank them for their interest, and explain that I don't get involved with anyone who has kids or who drinks.

Inevitably, I get a message back, and it says one of two things:

"What, I'm not good enough for you?"

or

"What, you think you're too good for me?"

But it isn't about "good" at all -- it's about simple compatibility. Why do people feel the need to fabricate a value judgment out of a plain statement of preference?

I'm sure these women are perfectly good people, and if they find someone who is OK with kids and alcohol, that's great. But that's not me, and it's never going to be me.

It would be nice if people would a.) take the time to read a profile before they sent a message expressing interest in someone who CLEARLY is not going to reciprocate, and b.) would stop taking it personally -- people DO have preferences. It doesn't reflect AT ALL on whether a person is "good enough" -- it reflects solely on compatibility....

Read your whole profile????? It ain't happening, sorry Lex.

yay, i am pretty sure people arent really reading the profiles, seems lame. I thought all the women on here are drunken moms chained to their houses???

Some people are reading it on the installment plan. If you chop it up into 5 or 6 pages a day, you can get through the whole thing in a year and a half.

I love when people claim to read your profile then proceed to ask you questions that are already answered in the profile!

Not soooo bad in my case, but been getting messages from really sweet sounding christian men that are looking for ms. forever & I am not looking for a LTR or to "fall in love"! I tell them & they message back about how we should be spending time together and they are willing to relocate to where their love is! And how I am missing out on so much happiness, etc. Can they effin read!

I am looking for friendship @ this point in my life I have had enough relationship drama that I just wanna worry about myself! It's nothing personal, but I'm not gonna fall for them, I would likely help a friend out if I liked them enough, but that's about as complicated as it may get in my world. At least I am being honest so they don't waste thier time with someone NOT INTERESTED!!!

What is so wrong about NOT looking for mr/ms wonderful???

I know the feeling......I joined this site because it was referred to me by a friend. I will say that I have spoken to a couple ladies that I was interested in but 99% of them I just don't understand. I was msgd by a 55 yr old the other week...her msg to me was " Hey soldier man, lookin to dirty it up?" Now to me that is a turn off no matter who says it....but I have come to the conclusion that the odds are completely against me ( a 26 yr old ) finding someone here. It's a bit of a double whammy for me, I wont engage with girls that are from the same city as me...I find they are all phony, and it's funny how they profess their love for you once they hear you make over six figures. lol It is NOT easy to for a 26 year old man to find a woman who is slightly older, they all want the older "distinguished" man. Now this reply is two pronged. On this site I have met many people that I now call friends of mine. I've just simply stopped looking bro. If it happens it happens, if not, then oh well. I agree with you compatibility views but I would like to add that the proper feelings are also needed on both sides.
Cheers mate.
EK

Nah, just the ones who write to me.

i guess I should send you a personal message then. jk

oh wow that one was classy, eh??? I like mingle, love making friends and enjoy the conversations here!!! I have spent the last decade of my life in relationships that were difficult to say the least & now, I just wanna enjoy the benefits of flying solo and finish school!

Yeah, I get that a lot too -- "I read your profile, I really liked it, where are you from?"

Uh, that's IN THE PROFILE....!!

Or they'll ask "Are you married?" or something like that which, if they actually DID READ the profile, they would already know!

I think a lot of people have a totally preconceived notion of what you're "supposed" to be using a dating site for.

But a lot of sites are set up for all different kinds of "social networking," whatever that means. So what's wrong with looking for friends?

I think it's mostly a semantics issue -- the term "dating site" is a draw, that's what pulls people in, but a lot of sites are really more than just that.

oh yea!!!! The very definition of class lol!!! YUCK

ya well, i never was the one to follow the rules! lol-hope you get some better hits guys

I've been on this site almost 4 years now, and it is, by far, the best one I've ever tried. I usually stick with a site for a few months before I'm either bored out of my skull or so swamped with scammers I can't breathe.

But this site is different, and largely because of the sheer quality of the people here.

My only quibble, to this point, is that the membership skews a little "old" for me (not chronologically, but more in terms of lifestyle choices) and I haven't been able to find anyone compatible here. In all fairness, though, I was involved with someone for awhile (one of my exes who was briefly on the site) so it's not like I've been looking for 4 years straight.

I've always had the philosophy that I'm willing to be friends with anybody, but it is a little unnerving to have this constant cavalcade of older women with kids trying to start something with me....

oh i hear ya and i agree!! there some awesome people on this site. I am glad I joined.

I so hear you on this one.... I end up with the ones that live too far away or in their 20's and try to convince me that age has no number and distance does not matter at all. Those things may not matter to some but just not for me...

If they only lived within 2-4 hours away now I might consider that but not 2-3 states or more.

Myself I will totally by-pass those that don't want to be around those that drink at all for I do enjoy a drink here and there...

But I tend to try to stay away from those that have little kids. Since mine are grown I'm not looking to raise someone else kids... Teenagers I could deal with just would rather they be over the age of 10.

But it always amazes me how they seem to try to talk me out of what I like and tell me my opinion is wrong....

rejection is personal, serious business lex!! their bubble has burst, their balloon deflated...and daggone it, they need answers!! after all, they need something to do while waiting for replies on the 50 other mindless emails they sent out.

i agree, it's about compatability, but for some it's just a wicked imagination of prepostrous proportions, otherwise known as clueless. i recently got an email saying 'my sister has been trying to training me. but i am a wild horse and can't be trained'. clearly this person was too good for me....

It's insane, isn't it? -- I mean, here's a total stranger who knows this little tiny bit about you, maybe, from your profile and some forum posts, and THEY are going to say "I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU AND WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU IS ME!" Excuse me? How is anyone going to tell me I have no idea what I want? Or what I want is "wrong"?

Ahhhh, the nerve of some people. Let THEM go write 5 books and then maybe they can tell me something worth hearing!