Topic: * VISIONS * {808} | |
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11/03/10
VISIONS... SHADOWS IN THE NIGHT SEND MANY VISIONS BLINDED BY A SIGHT WITH NO DECISONS BOXED IN WALLS HAD NO DIVISIONS MANY TEARS FALL FULL OF COLD DERISIONS NO WAY OUT DICED INCISIONS VOICELESS SHOUT LEFT IN THIS VISION. *written in my high school days |
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welcome to our corner of the site...
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* thanks.. so waddya think *
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it left me with the feeling of isolation,
which is a good thing, because it did inflict a sensation. that is what it's all about after all. let's see more... |
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Not sure how to analyze this-- seems to be more filled with confusion, then a stereotypical morose tone.
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thanks for checking it out! ya never realy got input fm frends so i appreciate it!! okay ill put more up ;)
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*LOST CHILD*
FEARS FROM A BOY NO SENSE OF JOY TEARS ARE FALLING FEELINGS ARE CALLING REACHING ARMS BODY FILLED OF HARM BREATH IS QUIET CAVED INSIDE SILENCE SURROUNDED BY DIRT FEELINGS ARE HURT INNOCENCE FILLED THE AIR WISHING MOM WAS THERE. ANY THOUGHTS IS WELCOME ON MY POEMS.. ADVICE MAKES IT BETTER! THANKS |
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This begs the feeling of alone and missing cohesive connections. Intense, I like your style here.
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*LOST CHILD* FEARS FROM A BOY NO SENSE OF JOY TEARS ARE FALLING FEELINGS ARE CALLING REACHING ARMS BODY FILLED OF HARM BREATH IS QUIET CAVED INSIDE SILENCE SURROUNDED BY DIRT FEELINGS ARE HURT INNOCENCE FILLED THE AIR WISHING MOM WAS THERE. ANY THOUGHTS IS WELCOME ON MY POEMS.. ADVICE MAKES IT BETTER! THANKS When a child knows of being unprotected, vulnerable is the feeling here. You have chosen well, your words. Perhaps you might try not capitalizing all the words. |
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May I say, welcome.
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i think sharris said it best...vulnerable...
short but with power, nicely done. |
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