So me and my fiancée broke up we were engaged for 4 years shortly befor the break up she changed drasticly she would go out all night my alarm would go off at 4AM for me to get ready for work and my truck still wouldnt be in the drive way. i put up with this for a little over a month but when she was talking on the phone for an hour one night and i asked who it was she said nobody that was it i couldnt take it and left. i told her i needed time i wanted to work things out but we needed to separate for a while and get our heads on straight. i then later found out that there was a pic that was taken befor i left of her with another guy i confronted her about this and she did not deny that she had cheated on me. i still love her and still wanted to work things out but all of a sudden she does not want to and wants time to think about things the only time she contacts me is when she needs help with bills which i feel like an idiot that i do help her with them but not because its her but because she has two kids and the bills not getting paid would effect them and i dont think its fair to punish them for somthing she did (not my kids by birth i was the step dad) while i still love her and forgive her i dont know that i would really be able to trust her atleast not for some time. would it be best that i just move on my step dad seems to think so says i got a good job (repair medical equipment) no kids that i have to pay child support for and im still young. he says the only reason it is so hard to let go is because she was my first ( yes i did not have sex or a real relationship until i was 19) is it worth the heartache? and if i should just move on i dont know how to do it. im so lost right now. any advice would be great
Thanks in advance

also am i stupid for still wanting to work it out with her after she cheated on me ? one side of me thinks im an idiot but the other side doesnt at first i thought she was worth the wait to work things out but now im not so sure.

i read your post several times, and each time the only option i see is move on. you are not an atm machine for this woman, and i'm sure the kids got taken care of before you and will be taken care of after you leave. listen to your stepdad, he knows you and your situation better than anyone on here. you deserve a mutual partner, and she doesn't seem to fit. it hurts to turn your back on all this, but do it. leave everything, because if you keep anything it will remind you of her and you will go back. some people deserve a second chance, but there is no chance of that with her attitude.

Well this is just my opinion, take it or not. I am a single Mom, it sounds like she is using you at the moment for money and knows you are nice enough to pay for her kids, not cool. Kids are never a bargaining tool. They should not be punished because of their mothers decisions, but unfortunately all kids are effected by their parents decisions good or bad.
Step back and learn to be you again. You need to be happy with you, do not ever depend on anyone else for outward happiness, it will always end in heartache. I agree with your step dad, you are young, you deserve more than a cheating girlfriend. It is one thing to cheat once, or to go drinking and partying occasionally, but talking on the phone with a guy while you are in the house is down right disrespectful, her mind at that point was made up, she may have some endearing qualitities,but trusting her will be hard. Without communication, friendship, trust and respect, you have nothing.
My advice would be to cut the ties with her, work on your self esteem and have an open mind about meeting another girl, we all are not bad, and you deserve to be treated well. - Jennifer

The only advice I can give is that it has be to your decision, noone else's.

You seem like you have all the facts needed to make it even though new facts may present themselves later.

When it comes to matters of the heart, taking outside advice will only cloud your judgement

Forgive me for being blunt, but this choice should be yours and yours alone.

little girls are the devil.

in this life, you got but one.

let no other tell you how to spend it.

not that all are not WONDERFUL people for wanting to lesson the pain, BUT, each self experience of all is totally unique, as each HUMAN IS DIFFERENT, in all ways shapes and form.

using comparisons of other's past, to access your own future, are very misleading in nature, as ALL THE VARIABLES IN EACH CASE ARE TOTALLY "ORIGINAL", having no TWO SAME SETS OF SAME DATA.

each human be as unique as the stars in the cosmos.

each one having a different past?

that shape who they are?

each then have different knowing?

each different personalities?

each different attitudes?

each DIFFERENT BRAINS, each human as unique as the mona lisa.

so you can not use others experience, can like the results you get, if you yourself have ONE OUNCE OF REGRET OVER A DECISION.s

it can't be stressed enough how EACH MORTAL IS PRICELESS, because each is ONE OF KIND.

you like the kind she be.

no doubt about it.

you speak from the heart.

she will always be with you, and you will weep for her when you see her sad, and see her making decision's you know she will later regret, but, when did anybody tellin about their 50 mile walk to school in the snow create any true REALITY for anyone else.

reality must be experienced, for it to be as REAL TO SELF.

when she has run thru down and chased all her dreams, and all her aspirations of all the things she thinks might make her happy, then she will know what she MOST WANTS, most and foremost, and if you are still weeping for her when she is cries, then two sail on.

if you remmeber that life is a candy store of WANTS for all to try out, for yourself and all other's, and you get to walk thru the candy store but ONLY ONE TIME, then it become's much easier to encourage her to go, and seek, and find, what she MOST WANT, for what else be true love?

for what other, that you really love, as much as you do her, would you not want to have the opportunity to try out all and everything they want while on earth.

for to love is to embrace the want of another, to the point of encouraging them to fly the way they want to go, the hardest thing on earth at first, but if one hath such giving of true love for aonther, the sails will always be against your own back, and the pain of one sided wanten love oneself will never feel again while mortal on planet earth, after just a few weeks of setting another free.

for one that sets what they love free, lonliness will never cross the threshold of their door, happy will never leave your side, for it was with grand good reason, that it was said, the greatest love self will EVER feel, be when it insist to itself for the sake of another, that it set a loved one free.

if you do set her free, by encouraging and telling her you want her to have WHAT SHE MOST WANTS, then know each time you feel the thoughts of her and they send shivers of pain thru your body, just remind yourself, that most thing you ever really wanted was to see her smilin and happy, and each pain you bear for her, add to her smile and happy, and in a few days time, the cosmos will carry you to new heights of your own spendor, and you many be surprised just how much BETTER YOU WILL LOVE AND PASSION FOR ANOTHER, even more beautiful, for the eye of the beholder change when it set free what it love, and old days will be as old ways, and your love will have become grand love, and you will have to beat the women away with a wise stick, for you will have been granted the prize, for you loved enough to love another's happiness more than your own, and so was true happy in life be first born.

peace

sorry for the rant



mighty winds against your back fellow sailor

if you really wanted to stay with her you would still be with her..you already know what you want to do..you dont need anyones approval or permission to do it...

Well everyone thanks for the input while yes it is ultimately my decision i guess i have known in the back of my head that yes i do just need to move on and cut ties its just kinda hard to tell yourself that at least for me it is. Just gota figure out what to do from here...

lifes to short to be hung up on one girl jmo anyway

There's nothing in your post that suggests that she wants to work things out.

I think you need to accept that and move on, or spend the next few years torturing yourself and being used.

yes, yes you should.

sorry yes when i first left she said she wanted to work things out then later said she needed time sorry forgot to put that part in but yes you are all right time to move on