Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Paducah, KY who has recently been diagnosed as a
carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Bowling Green.

One of my sisters lives in Taylorsville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters,
who are prostitutes in Louisville.

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
at Eddyville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother
is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute, who
currently lives in Lexington. She is still a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin from Ashland, who is an Obama supporter?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation