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Community > Poems & Creative Writing

Topic: The Sixteenth of October
johnnyheartbeep Joined Mon 09/27/10 Posts: 33	Tue 10/05/10 05:56 PM
I celebrate The sixteenth of October I give it over To tears and thoughts of you I clear the day Ahead of time so nothing No fiend or loved one Can see me cry for you I place a rose Upon the ground that holds you I wish I’d told you How much you meant to me

marriedandalone Joined Tue 04/13/10 Posts: 31	Tue 10/05/10 06:06 PM
Beautiful poem. Well done!

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Tue 10/05/10 06:56 PM
The 19th of October will be the 8th anniversary of my brother's death.. just 10 days after my birthday :( He is greatly missed.

kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Tue 10/05/10 09:33 PM
it's hard when we look back and say to ourselves... "i should have"....but we do learn from these things. hopefully. welcome... (i cant help but wonder if the "for you" at the end of the second stanza is needed?) (it may just be me, take it for what it is)

ArtGurl Joined Sun 04/08/07 Posts: 17722	Tue 10/05/10 10:54 PM
Beautiful ... and welcome

johnnyheartbeep Joined Mon 09/27/10 Posts: 33	Wed 10/06/10 07:30 AM
Thanks guys. Just noticed how I put "fiend" instead of "friend". Funny how those in some ways total opposite words are only one letter r away from each other. I take the point about the second stanza, KC. Maybe I was being too much of a slave to the meter: 4,7,5,6 all the way through. It's only brand new, so I'll let it settle for a while, then maybe come back and rework it. Might even leave the fiend.

Community > Poems & Creative Writing