Did you hear about the blond that broke her nose on the steering wheel?

She tried to blow the horn!

These 2 old guys are talking in the nursing home. One says..."I bet you can't guess how old I am!" The other guys says, "I bet $100 I can." They shake on it.
The second old guy says, "now to tell your age, I'm going to need to see your testicles." The other old guy doesn't think anything of it, he lives in a nursing home and is constantly being assessed from head to toe. So he says "fine!" and pulls his pants down.

The other guy starts weighing them in his hands, squeezing them and so forth and finally after a couple of minutes says, "you're 78." The other guy says, "that's amazing! How did you know???" The first guy says, "oh, you told me yesterday..."

stephen colbert.
XD