Have you been pressured by exterior forces (friends, family) to get into a relationship?

What about yourself? Got scared of "running out of time" so you "must find someone quick" so you aren't really searching or making relationships based on your real feelings, but by things that make you behave and think in a certain way (brainwashing, religion etc)?

Or what about loneliness? Lot's of people needs friends more than getting into serious relationships. Many times I run into people, who are not really looking for "someone" to be with , but they are just looking for "anyone", which is better than no one. That's a bad idea to go like that, because you may get something more than you really wanted. You may realize at the end, that all you wanted is company, and now you wish, that you could have back some of your privacy.

all the above.....

Till I got older......when I got older I sort of stopped giving a shizz about all that crap.....

and ya know...for me anyway...it comes along when i am not looking

when im forcing it...and really looking for it hard...it ALWAYS....ends up in total disaster for me...

I think aging has done me well in this area

Yeah, there were people in my life who felt it was their job to make sure I was with somebody. Two of them were very sincere about it and actually made legitimate attempts to help! The rest had a tendency to try to set me up with people who were about as compatible with me as a wicker basket full of artichokes.

The line they use is always something like "I hate to see you alone, you should be with someone who makes you happy" while simultaneously trying to hook me up with someone who makes me absolutely miserable.

I had to put a stop to that, eventually.



I wouldn't even attempt a relationship anymore unless it was based on my real feelings. I've been through enough dead-end scenarios to know that they don't work for me.

As for the time factor, well, nobody really knows how much time they have left. In my entire life, I've run across one person I believe was at least somewhat compatible with me, and that was a fluke. So, realistically, I figure I'll have to live to be 287 before I meet another one like her.



Oh, sure, I've been in lots of relationships where I went in thinking "Well, this could be fun!" only to want nothing more than to get out of it 3 months later.

This was due to a.) my own stupidity (not really taking the time to examine their true intentions from Day One) and b.) their inevitable need to lie to me going in, and tell me what they think I wanted to hear, instead of telling me the truth. Blame enough for everyone!

Loneliness is a problem for me, and I will be the first to admit it. But being lonely while being WITH someone is worse.

Pressured: Never! I asked my Mom at 7 years old to have the vet fix me so I couldn't have babies (like he did for the animals on the farm). She thought I would grow out of it - I didn't. She never mentioned kids. If she had, I would have told her to have them herself. It's my life - buzz off!!

Scared: I don't base my life on getting married or "finding" someone. If I do - great! Otherwise, I am cool with my life. I have accomplished more than I expected in both career and education. The only think in my agenda is more travel.

Loneliness: I am not lonely. I am OK being alone anyway but I have wonderful friends. One of the arguments I had to answer to (when I attended counseling before getting fixed) was, "Who will take care of you in old age?" I explained that family is not guaranteed to be around at any time. We can pick our friends but not our family. When the time comes, I will be well taken care of - even if I arrange that for myself before I become incapacitated. Who in the heck has kids for the sake of old age accommodations anyway?? DUMB!!! Also, achieving my graduate degree and developing and operating my fitness business for 22 years has kept my mind from obsessing about men. There is more to life than kids and men. I feel badly for the people that get married young, have a few kids, and then find themselves divorced and without life skills, job skills and broke. It happens to men and women.

For me, and this theory doesn't work for everybody, I am on earth to take care of myself with FULL responsibility and independence. Relying on people is a NO-NO in my world. If I need someone to survive than I have failed as an adult.

of course, its the only reason I got married...thankfully I came to my senses and got a divorce...

Could not agree with you more.

Been there, done that, won't do it again, as I learned my lessons and ended up miserable.

No.

No.

Meh, I'll live.

It's been a really long time since I attempted 'fake feelings' and I wasn't very good at it then.....hope I never experience loneliness to the point of needing to fake anything

ya know lonliness has never been a problem for me...well..maybe only a few times..i am only human.....


but here in the real world i have so many friends who fill that void..ya know we go out...do things...and that always makes me feel happy and whole...