To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells
her it'll make her fat. I won't do it any more, Mom, says the daughter.
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. If I bite my
fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom? You'll be fatter than
that, says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a
very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's
belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, Excuse me,
but do you know me? And the little girl says, No, but I know what you've
been doing...

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.

You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in
heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.
Susie, still crying, said What would God want with a dead dog?

I wanted to appologised for all the silly jokes about the children. GOMEN NASAI~

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.