Just something I wrote... it's a bit long, I know, but eh...

I put the CD in the player,
and slowly change each song.
I need to hear something in the silence
that has stretched all night long.
I hear the violins start
to play their mournful song,
and I close my eyes
and softly start to sing along.

Final goodbyes
and bells being rung,
all of them are echoes
of songs that I've sung.
They replay themselves
in the back of my mind,
until there's nothing I can do
except want to press 'rewind'.

Drums begin to pound.
A guitar picks up the beat.
Notes swirl and thrash about me.
A little louder, I sing.

Ripples in the water
and the consequences I face,
all of them are problems
I wish I could erase.
They make me want to go back in time
and force myself to see
the things I never noticed
that were right in front of me.

A voice is screaming at me,
yelling the words I wish I could say,
saying all the terrible things
that would have made him go away.
Tears flood my eyes now.
as lyrics hit my heart.
I try to breathe again,
but the words keep tearing me apart.

It isn't fair, the things he's done.
He's taken you from me.
I never got a chance before,
and now I know, it won't be me.

It won't be me you love so much.
It won't be me you want.
It won't be my name you cry,
when you tell him you've had enough.

It won't be me,
I know this to be true.
But even worse than wanting it to be,
Is knowing I can't have you.
It isn't fair to ask you
to only be mine.
But still I wish I had the courage,
to ask you just one time.

But I know I'll never make it.
I'd never make the grade.
I'd never be the one you love,
because of the choices he made.
It isn't fair that I'm alone,
listening to music as I cry.
What's even worse is all the chances
that I never saw go by.

So I find myself alone,
with a love I can't get back.
But between him and I, I wonder:
Whose fault is that?