Okay, so, I have to ask, and please know that I'm being serious about this...

Why does a guy (or anyone for that matter) who is perfectly sweet about everything normally have to suddenly act like you almost don't exist when his friends are in the room? I mean, I can see not wanting to be all "soft" when you're a real "tough guy", but I mean, I dated a guy for 15 months, and whenever his friends were around, I was lucky to get an arm around my shoulders. I didn't get real cuddling (yeah, I know, shocking that I might want that after I drove over an hour to see the guy) unless we were in his room, and that didn't even happen if his friends were over, which, I gotta tell ya, was ALL THE TIME.

I know it sounds like I'm ranting, and I kinda am, because it took eighteen months of that and feeling like I wasn't a real girlfriend but just a friend with benefits as well as being second to his job and education, to finally give up on it. But I didn't think it was going to be THAT BAD until it got to this last week... *sighs*

It just seems that he just wan't that into you. Meaning he wasn't serious. He liked having you in his bed, but otherwise that was it.

I could be wrong, but if he wanted you in his bed, he should be happy to have you at his side around his friends.

I agree with Tanya... It sounds harsh but it sounds like you were just a bed buddy... It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman, if they act like they don't care, they really don't care.. A person that cares will act like it.. Sure everyone has their moments and moods but it should be once in a while not all the time, if it is then they're not worth your time...

^^^^^^^
what they said.

Dr Kim

wouldn't "we" be the dr's IF we're coming up with all the ideas?? just sayin'....

Take it from a guy.
Tanya and princess are right girl. he sounds like he just wants you for the more "fun" side of things. If i was you id end the friendship if he just wants you for that. unless you dont have any respect for yourself..and i can tell just by lokoing at your pic that your not like that.
do yourself a favourand get rid of him.

you guys are my nurses I just confirmed the diagnosis

*chuckles* Yeah... I figured that if it was going to come down to that, making me feel like I am, like you said, a bed buddy, that it wasn't worth it... He may have loved me, but he wasn't in love with me... *nods gently*

It doesn't sound like he's a bad guy, just not the guy for you.. He obviously wasn't giving you what you desired so you realized it was time to move on.. Good for you.. Never accept anything less than what you deserve, which is everything that you desire....

why would you try and draw that distinction?

if he loved you he would have let you know by his actions. it seems to me that these actions showed you something much different.

you will drive yourself batty trying to reason this, there is no reasoning other peoples actions or emotions. ad you are not doing yourself any favors by making it anything other than what it is. the bottom line here is that he did/doesn't treat you like you deserve to be treated, so find someone who will and put this guy in your past where he belongs.

Thankgod someone agrees on that part lol

Which part would that be?

I dont think that this guy "loved" you either. (sorry for the harshness)
but if he loved you then im sure he wouldve atleast tried to make you feel more appreciated. especially after so many months. he shouldve been showing you off to his friends not acting like he didnt know you while they were around and then only showing it when yous are in bed together. wheres the love in that approach?

I see it as a matter of priorities -- if he's more concerned with his buddies' impressions of him than he is with the feelings and needs of someone he supposedly "loves," then something is egregiously wrong somewhere.

You're better off without someone like that, anyway -- if he can't put you first, then it's time to find someone who will....

Sweetie, boyfriend has it backwards! when you arrive his friends should get punted out.

I would say HE was more an A$$ than a boyfriend,,,and HE MIGHT see that in him self one day?
But,,its one thing to be cool and tough,,but its another animal if THAT rejects ones passions....
Your better to have known that through him,,and now your better to be free of all that,,Good for YOU!!!

What everyone said above.

Hi SA!

Maybe he saw you as the girl "In the mean time" until he meets "The One". It happens, but as soon as you note his change in behavior....it's time to bring it to his attention and/or find someone who treats you with respect/as his GF at ALL TIMES!

I will agree that the dude wasn't into you. But then again, some dudes are just that way. They can like a girl alot, and still act like that. It's rare, but I have seen it happen.

On the other hand, you also have to understand guy do's and don'ts. And most of the time, this is info passed from dude to dude that is total bs. But, you still have to understand that it exists, and that it does affect dudes. For example, one dude asks for advice from a friend of his, and this friend gives his words of wisdom. Now, let's say the guy asked "How should I play this? Hard to get? I mean...I don't want this chick to feel that she can run me yanno". Legitimate question, and so the friend responds, "Dude. Don't give in to her needs for awhile. Keep her in check. Once she feels she can run all over ya, it won't stop. Chick will run your life before you know it."

Now, if the above advice seems silly, well...IT IS! But....but. This kind of advice flows around in certain dude circles. This **** has been around for ages, and while most dudes know it is BS, sometimes we fall prey to it. Peer pressure, or maybe not being quite into a girl yet, or other reasons exist.

What everyone stated above is true. I just wanted to point to another side of the spectrum here. Yes...I said spectrum. I am deep like that. Word!

What he said....