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| Topic: see me for me | |
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hey don't give up there are some of us out here that look at the big picture and not just the wrapping paper.
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i hear what you guys are saying, and yes i'll take responsiblity for letting myself change for someone but in my mind in relationships there's give and take and i figured that it was just clothes and that i would give it a try for him, when i realized that i wasn't happy i got out of there... so now it seems like a lot of guys i get interested are some what like that (all into the looks) and what im saying is where are the guys who aren't? i get that appearance is a big part of it but there has to be someone out there that doesn't mind a girl in t-shirt and jeans and can appreciate when i do get dolled up but doesn't mean he wont care about me when i don't.
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when you get into a relationship your not only getting the wrapping paper BUT you are also getting the whole gift. and if someone can't except who you are as a person then there is nothing there worthwhile to even try to have that person in your life. you need to do what makes you happy and if they don't like it, then see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
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i hear what you guys are saying, and yes i'll take responsiblity for letting myself change for someone but in my mind in relationships there's give and take and i figured that it was just clothes and that i would give it a try for him, when i realized that i wasn't happy i got out of there... so now it seems like a lot of guys i get interested are some what like that (all into the looks) and what im saying is where are the guys who aren't? i get that appearance is a big part of it but there has to be someone out there that doesn't mind a girl in t-shirt and jeans and can appreciate when i do get dolled up but doesn't mean he wont care about me when i don't. Maybe it's the age range that you are dating (??). I know most MEN love when a woman gets dolled up, but they do not dictate when/how often (and love us in jeans/sweats w/baseball cap on occasion). They're out there, I'm sure. Just be selective about who you allow into "your world". I'm "allergic" to control freaks! Can't have it. 
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 i hear what you guys are saying, and yes i'll take responsiblity for letting myself change for someone but in my mind in relationships there's give and take and i figured that it was just clothes and that i would give it a try for him, when i realized that i wasn't happy i got out of there... so now it seems like a lot of guys i get interested are some what like that (all into the looks) and what im saying is where are the guys who aren't? i get that appearance is a big part of it but there has to be someone out there that doesn't mind a girl in t-shirt and jeans and can appreciate when i do get dolled up but doesn't mean he wont care about me when i don't. Maybe it's the age range that you are dating (??). I know most MEN love when a woman gets dolled up, but they do not dictate when/how often (and love us in jeans/sweats w/baseball cap on occasion). They're out there, I'm sure. Just be selective about who you allow into "your world". I'm "allergic" to control freaks! Can't have it.
thank you for all your advice
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naked sounds great to me!
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well, you assume he knew she was chainging for him (may or may not be true)... no, I don't think that it's fine for him to be "controlling" in any way, but she should not accept his behavior... seems a bit dependant to me... he was wrong to ask, she is just as wrong to change and/or stay... bottom line, it's not all his fault, she made the decision to change who she was and it did not work out, so I don't see how it's all the guys fault (all be it what it was)... then again, I am more a believer of personal responsibility... so my position is likely predictable... If a woman tried to control or change me, I would let her know that it is not acceptable to me, and if that is what she wanted then we are not compatible... $.02 
I never said it was all the guy's fault. And as the OP said, she realized what was happening didn't make her happy, so she left. So, good for her. |
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why is it so hard to find a guy who isn't into looks, i need a guy who will accept and adore me even when i don't get all dressed up... not that i mind getting all dolled up for dates and stuff but sometimes you want them to see you for you and not just for when you get all sexy. Im a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl and i want the guy to be ok with that, i wouldn't tell him what to wear. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word "accept" -- I've been looking for that since about 1832 or thereabouts, and it just doesn't seem to exist. What I seem to get -- pretty much inevitably -- is the whole "I love you just the way you are!" until a few months later when they decide it's time to CHANGE me....ugh, no thanks.... All I can say is, if someone doesn't accept you for who you are, dump him and move on.... |
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I prefer men that want me naked!!! 
great minds think alike...Im with you... 
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why is it so hard to find a guy who isn't into looks, i need a guy who will accept and adore me even when i don't get all dressed up... not that i mind getting all dolled up for dates and stuff but sometimes you want them to see you for you and not just for when you get all sexy. Im a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl and i want the guy to be ok with that, i wouldn't tell him what to wear. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word "accept" -- I've been looking for that since about 1832 or thereabouts, and it just doesn't seem to exist. What I seem to get -- pretty much inevitably -- is the whole "I love you just the way you are!" until a few months later when they decide it's time to CHANGE me....ugh, no thanks.... All I can say is, if someone doesn't accept you for who you are, dump him and move on.... I love you just the way you are..really..and as long as i dont have to sit next to you..ill keep loving you..just the way you are... 
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Only a fool thinks they can change someone. Time for dude to learn some life lessons.
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why is it so hard to find a guy who isn't into looks, i need a guy who will accept and adore me even when i don't get all dressed up... not that i mind getting all dolled up for dates and stuff but sometimes you want them to see you for you and not just for when you get all sexy. Im a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl and i want the guy to be ok with that, i wouldn't tell him what to wear. I think you hit the nail on the head with the word "accept" -- I've been looking for that since about 1832 or thereabouts, and it just doesn't seem to exist. What I seem to get -- pretty much inevitably -- is the whole "I love you just the way you are!" until a few months later when they decide it's time to CHANGE me....ugh, no thanks.... All I can say is, if someone doesn't accept you for who you are, dump him and move on.... I love you just the way you are..really..and as long as i dont have to sit next to you..ill keep loving you..just the way you are...
Ah, but you can't very well turn me into a domesticated farm animal unless you're sitting next to me. It's like The Riddle of the Sphinx, only with a goat. |
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so sad that every guys are always after the looks. If you are not that pretty you will just stay in one corner like a poor kitten wanted to be rescued. But you are lucky cause for me you are so lovely, pretty. Some guys never preferred Asian looks. They are after blue eyed ladies and blonde hair. 
thank you, your gorgeous and Asians are hot! so you don't have anything to be worried about! my thing is that i had a bf who told me that i wasn't allowed to wear anything but a dress and heels period and for awhile i went with it because i liked him, but now with going through that i want to find someone who appreciates when i get dolled up but doesn't expect it... not saying that im going to be wearing sweat pants all the time but like i said jeans and a tee If your with someone that can't accept you completely as you are, send 'em packin', cause they don't deserve your attention,or time. Personally, I love the "jeans and t-shirt look on a woman. I bet you're a knock-out either way! |
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Men and women too are visual, so your pictures are of your best (well most of them. Try no picture are several in all kinds of dress.
I prefer men that want me naked!!!
Naked is nice. In lengerie is nice too, it keeps some mystery and when he starts to remove it, is exciting. Ron |
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wow thank you everyone for your feedback. i appreciate all of it, it's great to hear others opinions and to be heard.
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I know what you mean. I like to get dolled up to at times, but not every damn day. Heels are just murder!
 
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It is amazing how we, meaning humans, can rationalize being with someone who is controlling. Comments like "Oh, he/she means well when he/she says I need to lose a few pounds. He/she justs wants me to be happy." We say things like this, and in our own minds, we believe what we are saying. And typically, our friends and family (those who can see the truth) will just sit there and hope one day we will wake up. I was with someone in my past who tried to be a bit of a control freak. I was blinded by it at first, simply because I just refused to allow the truth to sink in (even when I knew I was lying to myself). But there comes a point and time when you have to realize that being with someone who is hurting you (maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally..they are) is not good for you.
The good thing TMG is that you did get away from him. I'm sure it wasn't easy. But, you still did. And now you will hopefully find a dude who will love ya when you're all dolled up. And when you just wanna chill in sweats. Cause all of us know that sweats are da bomb!
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when you get into a relationship your not only getting the wrapping paper BUT you are also getting the whole gift. and if someone can't except who you are as a person then there is nothing there worthwhile to even try to have that person in your life. you need to do what makes you happy and if they don't like it, then see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. Couldn't have said that better myself. I tell guys from the get go things about me I feel are important. And if they want to date me, they need to be willing to accept that I am not going to change any time soon. You either take me as I am or not at all. |
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Edited by
tmg4life333
on
Tue 08/31/10 09:20 PM
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It is amazing how we, meaning humans, can rationalize being with someone who is controlling. Comments like "Oh, he/she means well when he/she says I need to lose a few pounds. He/she justs wants me to be happy." We say things like this, and in our own minds, we believe what we are saying. And typically, our friends and family (those who can see the truth) will just sit there and hope one day we will wake up. I was with someone in my past who tried to be a bit of a control freak. I was blinded by it at first, simply because I just refused to allow the truth to sink in (even when I knew I was lying to myself). But there comes a point and time when you have to realize that being with someone who is hurting you (maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally..they are) is not good for you. The good thing TMG is that you did get away from him. I'm sure it wasn't easy. But, you still did. And now you will hopefully find a dude who will love ya when you're all dolled up. And when you just wanna chill in sweats. Cause all of us know that sweats are da bomb!
awe thanx for the support!... i'll be lucky if he's as cool of a dude as you! |
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It is amazing how we, meaning humans, can rationalize being with someone who is controlling. Comments like "Oh, he/she means well when he/she says I need to lose a few pounds. He/she justs wants me to be happy." We say things like this, and in our own minds, we believe what we are saying. And typically, our friends and family (those who can see the truth) will just sit there and hope one day we will wake up. I was with someone in my past who tried to be a bit of a control freak. I was blinded by it at first, simply because I just refused to allow the truth to sink in (even when I knew I was lying to myself). But there comes a point and time when you have to realize that being with someone who is hurting you (maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally..they are) is not good for you. The good thing TMG is that you did get away from him. I'm sure it wasn't easy. But, you still did. And now you will hopefully find a dude who will love ya when you're all dolled up. And when you just wanna chill in sweats. Cause all of us know that sweats are da bomb!
awe thanx for the support!... i'll be lucky if he's as cool of a dude as you! There can be only one!
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