Two friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful and
loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi
Breezers.

Incredibly drunk & walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in
the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she
would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing
a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but
was lucky
enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on
it, so she proceeded to use the ribbon. After the girls did their
business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the
other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm
starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband,
"Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said: From all of us
at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

HOPE THIS IS not TOO CRUDE!
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each
other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm
going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life
for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a
clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the
bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter,
and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged
from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue
and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap
on it's head."

That is so funny!