SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS. SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

6. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

7. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

I just love #7

#6 sounds like me!

Thank god for the maintanence man!!

Nice to see the lighter side of you, Knight! This was very funny

For#1. I just use a cast cutter.
For#2. I went out and bought a Binford auto toilet seat. Automatically comes down when I'm done.
For#3. Just always agree with the woman to avoid conflict.
For#4.Get a woman that gets up before you that takes the time to make breakfast for you. Pretty sure she will NOT let you sleep in.
For#5. A woman will just fix it with a THINGY.
For#7. The last time I did that. She was so heavy that she took out half the railing as she tumbled down. Cost me $1,200 to repair it. Never do that again.

Sometimes I think I need OP # 4. hehe

speechless here:




and I daresay THAT's a first