is anyone awake right now that can give ]advice?

Your in luck brother. Hit me with it..........

spill it. someone will always answer

Well I dated a girl for 3 years. 2 and a half of that was long distance. We both graduated college and I decided to do literacy teaching for a year, so i moved away and we broke off mutually, both sad.

a year later, im moving back, she has a boyfriend. we hung out one night when i visited home and she said she still felt something...i told her i was going to win her back. , and i visited again 2 weeks ago and we made out on her bed and masturbated next to one another.

i move back home in 3 weeks. she told me shes very much into me and still loves me. she told her bf she needed to take a break.

just today we were talking and she told me that even if i hadnt come into the picture again, she woulda broke off with him eventually bc shes very unhappy with him, they fight a lot and hes a jerk, sex is boring...ect a few hours later she tells me that if i didnt come into the picture she wouldnt have broke off with him and its bc of me...but thats not a bad thing.... and that shes confused. but she promised me she is going to completely break it off with him by the time i come home for good in 3 weeks.

so im totally confused and i dont want to get played, although i do trust her more than neone

if she was that unhappy with the other guy, why didn't she already break it off before making out with you?

Sounds like she isn't sure and wants to keep both of you until she decides who she wants.

To me...that is a game and I don't like games like that.

I would take it slowly. She could do it to you later down the road.

Just my opinion though

i told her im not going to pressure her to make a decision but im not going to do anything else with her until she decides

I would just FORGET about her...........You NEVER can TRUST someone like that!

Sounds like a game I wouldn't want to play. I would certainly proceed with caution.........

OP....I am getting the feeling that you don't see this as a game she is playing....correct?

AWWWWW.......would you (PLAY) with me?

Why does it have to be a game. I dont see it as a game.

I do trust her, shes given more little reason not too. i mean iv never cheated nor been the other guy before...but it seems that she wouldnt have stopped having sex with him and decided to take a break if she wasnt serious

Then you just answered your own question. It would appear to be a game to me because I am old and jaded.......

the break part sounds (to me) like she is keeping him on the back burner until she decides.

If she was that unhappy, she would have ended it...period. AND she should have done that BEFORE the 2 of you fooled around.

this, to me, sounds like a game



she can't seem to make up her mind.

How would you feel if she did this to you?

Well, i am blind to see how things might be bc im involved so i appreciate outside advice, and it helps to debate on the state of the situation.

are all women so complicated?

I thought i did all the right things to win her back: be me, sent flowers to her work, and call me corny or cheesy but i mailed her a letter with a drawing of a heart on it and i put mine in it and then said this is for you to keep. maybe that makes me a bit of a ***** to do that, but its how i feel and she responded very well to it by kissing me lol. but perhaps she just like the attention. iv known her for a long time and i dont think shes like that, but i guess i never know

i wouldnt ever talk to her again. cheating is wrong...but all is fair love and war as they say right?

the irony is that when we first started dated, 4 years ago.... she had a bf then too who she broke up with for me and we dated for 3 years after.

again...how would you feel if the roles were reversed. What if you started dating and the boyfriend comes back into the picture? She cheats on you with him, needs a "break" from you (not ending it)....I suspect we would be seeing a "why do women__________" thread. Would you still think she isn't playing games?

You asked for advice and we are giving it to you. 2 other posters see the writing on the wall. I've heard these stories MANY times...not my first rodeo.

She did this before, doing it now and she will do it again. She keeps guys on the back burner it seems

well i dont do breaks... so that wouldnt happen, id just break up.

i know ur giving me advice...just bc im arguing it doesnt mean i dont appreciate it. i like looking at a situation from every angle

I wish you the best of luck. You seem to have already decided. I've just been around the block. This is raising all kinds of red flags for me.

If some guy did this to me...I would have lost all respect for him. I don't condone cheating and think it's a cowardly act. I don't respect players either. I don't care what history we had together....that would be it for me.

JMO

If you are going through with it....I would tell her she needs to end it completely with the boyfriend now

im not decided that is why i asked for advice. i need to make this decisiion to go forward or not, but the advice helps.

time for bed its 430. thank you all :)