This is a song written by a friend of mind, Chris Baker. It's about waking up to the cosmic consciousness and cosmic goddess. By the way, this is my first attempt to sing this, so hopefully I'll get it better over time.



Music Here:
http://users.csonline.net/designer/music/dreamer.mp3

Awake O Dreamer


Awake, O sleeper
For the night is filled with song
Awake, O sleeper
Before the tune is gone

Get up, get up
Don't be down
Get up, get up
Don't be down

Awake, O dreamer
For the song has touched your ear
Awake, O dreamer
While she still lingers near

Get up, get up
Don't be down
Sit up, sit up
Don't be down

Awake, my soul
For the stillness waits for you
Awake, my soul
Before they close the gates on you

Rise up, rise up
Wise up,
Rise up, rise up
Wise up,

Awake, O sleeper
The night is filled with song
Awake, O sleeper
Before the tune is gone
Awake, O dreamer
the song has touched your ear
Awake, O dreamer
While she lingers near
Awake, O dreamer
While she lingers near
While she lingers near
While she lingers near

You have a great voice, James.

And, I really like the song.

Thanks Ruth,

For whatever it's worth, I uploaded a new recording of it that includes some lead guitar picking.

Wow, that sounds great! I have to say, I think this song is my favorite of yours now. Maybe it's just because of the place I'm in....but I don't think so. I think it's really good.

And, the quote above really struck me this time. I suddenly realized that people die everyday without having ever woken up.

So true. And some of us wake up so late in life that it's only just in time to say goodbye.

I've been flirting with Yesod and she's been showing me with creativity and inspiration. I have about a hundred ideas for songs swimming around in my head right now. I've been recording them on a little portable pocket tape recorder in bits and pieces as they flow into my mind. But then taking those pieces and actually bringing them into the manifestation of Malkuth truly amounts to actual work.

The magick wand will only do so much.

Today I've been suffering heavily from hay fever. I guess I need to work on focusing on my health spells before I can play with Yesod and Netzach. Netzach hasn't really interacted with me much yet. Or maybe to put that more correctly, I haven't truly reached out to Her yet. Or Briah if you prefer. The loving "Goddess of the water" to put it in faerytale terms. But I am working toward that goal. I'm a bit shy.

But when I do make contact with her I can just imagine that there will be some truly wonderful love songs coming out of that experience. I'm taking my time on purpose. Almost looking for excuses to DRAG MY FEET.

I'm such a coward when it comes to accepting divine love.

I have no clue why. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was raise in a culture that beat it into my skull that I'm unworthy of God's love and I should be groveling in shame instead of reaching out for a hug like an innocent child. How dare I expect to be loved by God just as I am. Shame on me!

Better late than never. I know how you feel though. I often feel like I wasted so much of my time and life sleeping. But, I'm awake now and I continue to wake up a little more each day.

I showed a person how to do a spell to help her get a job. A couple weeks later I heard from her and she was complaining that she still didn't have a job even though she did the spell. I asked her where she had submitted applications and she said, "I have to fill out applications?"

Yes, magick will only do so much. It's a wonderful tool, but you still have to get off your altar and put in the work.

I've been doing a lot of those. And, I've noticed much improvement. My allergies are terrible this year. I've heard they're bad everywhere and that this is one of the worst allergy seasons in years. I guess the good news is that it will definitely end.

Yes, I think that's exactly it because I suffered from that too for a very long time. It was very hard....no, impossible, for me to believe that I DESERVED divine love and all the blessings this life and the afterlife have to offer me. But, I am. I truly believe that now.

I feel much the same way. But I harbor no resent me about it, or anxiety, or anything really. Well, for one think, I truly believe that I'm eternal so what's the big deal about sleeping the bulk of this life away. We can't get them all perfect.

Besides, I actualy did pretty well for a "sleeper".

I had no dreams of becoming rich and famous, and I still don't. That's just not something I ever truly wanted. All I ever wanted was companionship and people to share things with. And, in truth, I had a lot of that. Especially with my mother. As you know she died a few years back and she WAS my life at that time. And in a really GOOD way! And I was truly blessed, as was she. She died at 90 years old, in fair health and with a totally pristine mind. She also died rather quickly (with a week of heart failure) spending most of that time coming into and out of consciousness long enough to share conversations as I basically lived right beside her bed for that entire week.

She died peacefully in the night. What more could I ask for really. I mean considering that we all necessarily must die something. It really couldn't have been a more "beautiful" death if it even makes sense to speak of death as being "beautiful".

But I mean seriously, she could have suffered from a horrible disease or dementia for years and that would have kill me just to watch her die that way. So life has truly BLESSED me and my mother.

So I'm not complaining about ANYTHING!

OMG! My sides hurt!

What book of magick did she buy? Alice in Wonderland?

Well I'm not sure if I deserve to be loved, but at least I'm 100% convinced that I don't deserve to not be loved.

Gotta hate those double-negatives in sentences huh? Maybe that's my problem. I gotta start thinking that I deserve to be loved instead of thinking that I don't deserve to not be loved.

I'll have to work on that one.

It's probably not a real clear psychic message huh?

Actually it is clear. It says, "I'm not deserving". But, don't worry, you just need practice and patience.

Well, it may very well be permanent psychological damage. Only time will tell. Actually things are rolling along her fairly rapidly lately. In fact, it's kind of funny because so much it happening that it seems like a MONTH has passed since I ordered those books on Hermtics, the Qabalah, and How to paint Elves and Enchanted Forests. I probably didn't mention that last one.

Lots of stuff going on, so days are seeming like months. It's funny because they often say that time flies when you are keeping busy, but for me it's almost like time is standing still. A day seems like a year. And in a GOOD WAY!

I've also been spending a lot of "time" in my dreams. By that I mean my dreams seem to be like FOREVER, even though I'm only sleeping for less than 8 hours. Sometimes as little as 6 hours but the dreams were like I was asleep for days. They are becoming like "journeys" in their own right.

You should see some of the places I've been! I wish I could share. Maybe someday with the help of a paintbrush owl be able to share a dream or two with you.

Did I mention that I have a whole lot of babies here too? Well, actually they're just baby fish. My fish laid a bunch of eggs and so I took the adults out of the tank and let the fry hatch out. Lots and lots of babies! But they won't eat anything! I've tried using mashed up egg yoke disolved in water, but they just ignore it. I think they'll only eat live food. So I ordered some micro worms and other live food. That's supposed to be here in two to three days, and it seems like forever since I ordered it. But in reality it was indeed only 2 days ago. Today's saturday and no worms, so now it's going to be at least Monday before I can feed these babies!

I feel so guilty for not being better prepared. But then how was I supposed to know that my fish were getting horny and having sex behind my back?

Well, congratulations, you're a grandfather!


I know you were kidding, but what you said about permanent psychological damage made me realize something. I do have permanent psychological damage from some of my past and it may or may not hinder my work. But, I am beginning to look at it like any other damage in the body and realizing I can compensate for it with other talents just like a blind person compensates for their lack of vision by heightening their other senses.

I guess we are all "damaged" in some way or another. Some things can heal, others can't. But, we humans are very adaptable and creative and we always figure out a way to get where we want to be in spite of the damage. That's what I'm doing.

Absolutely. That's what the human condition is all about.

The Eastern Mystical philosophies, like Buddhism, etc., teach to live in the now and that we are not a product of our past. In other words, are past doesn't "define" who we are. I fully understand what they mean by that, but at the very same time, it's truly impossible to completely ignore the past experiences that have indeed contributed to our very growth. In fact, it flies in the face of "karma" to claim that your past doesn't affect your now.

So to claim that our past doesn't "define" who we are not is a bit ambigous. It most certainly does to a very large degree. But I understand what the Buddhas are trying to say. They are basically saying to realize that it's not carved in stone, and that you are constantly created new karma for your future. And it is that new karma that does not need to be defined by your past.

Whew. Such subtleties! But even so, an intellectual understanding of these philosophies and spiritual insights only goes so far. They don't truly become affective until they become intuition. And that's where ritual and meditation comes into play. And it's the rituals and meditations of the traditions of witchcraft and shamanism that I find to be so useful.

I mean if you think about the different ways in which the very term "meditation" is used it's really quite amazing. In the Eastern Traditions, "meditation" is often seen solely in terms of transcendental meditation. (i.e. transcending thoughts. Quieting the mind. Emptying the mind of all thoughts).

Well, that's certainly one type of "meditataion". But in the witchcraft and shamanic traditions a "Shamanic journey" is considered a meditation. As is the simple act of focusing all of your thoughts and energys on a single goal. That is also seen as 'meditation' on the goal, and it fundamental to spell work.

So in these traditions "meditation" isn't reserved for solely quieting the mind, althought that type of meditation is also used. But it's taken a step further into "Controlling" the thoughts of the mind by focusing on allowing the higher self to be in control.

The higher self is indeed "immune" to our past experiences, because the higher self exists solely in the now. It's not concerned with past or future, just the now.

Ok, that was a ramble. I'm just a rambl'in man I guess.

That's what it's like when the only live "people" I ever see around here is my cat and my horny fish.

Yes, the past has made us who we are today. But, it does not get to decide who we are going to become next.

And, I always enjoy your rambles. My posts and thoughts are always much shorter but that's what happens when you make your living as a public speaker. You're all talked out by the end of the day.

that recording is mixed terribly! It has potential. Just fire your sound guy and find someone better.

Thanks for the heads-up heavenly boy.

This sound file went through hell and back.

I recorded the original with just rhythm guitar and vocals in stereo, then Chris added the lead guitar, but when I got that file back it was in mono. I also couldn't download it as an mp3 so I had to play it, and re-record the output of that. So that's the file you finally heard.

Could you take a listen to this one and tell me if it's any better in terms of sound quality?

http://users.csonline.net/designer/music/dreamer2.mp3

There's no lead guitar in this one though. But it has the full stereo vocal track.

And yes, I wish I did have a sound technician around. My hearing isn't good so that prevents me from being able to even hear what I'm producing very well.

I'm hoping to do this song over again from scratch and get the mix better. I think the rhythm guitar was saturated even in the original recording.

The drummer was here today and we were doing the song with just the drums and rhythm guitar. He was also starting to sing backup for the first time. But we didn't record anything we did today.

Ok Chris sent me the original mp3 and I uploaded it to the original link. Hope this sounds cleaner.

http://users.csonline.net/designer/music/dreamer.mp3

I got the original stereo back with this one too. That comes in near the end on the vocals.

Granted that nothing about this recording is "pristine". This was my first run-through with this song, and I'm a rank amature anyway, so don't be comparing this with superstar music or it will surely fail the test.

This is just a homebody humming.