Community > General Discussion

Topic: .....IF....
Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Tue 06/22/10 10:38 AM
I would have sought out 2nd, 3rd, even 4th opinions for my female problems and not listen to my doctor who kept saying it was scar tissue when it was endometrosis and didn't get properly diagnosed until it had destroyed my fallopian tubes, ovaries and any possibility of me ever having children. I know just how you feel. I'm 41 and haven't been able to have babies either. There's a lonliness there that most can't even start to imagine. Questioning God about what is so bad about me that He doesn't want any part of me to passed on to a next generation. The anger you feel when people with kids tell you how lucky you are to not have THAT responsibility. I've even decided that I have to buy myself a really awesome tombstone so someone in the distant future will bother to stop and look at it. People look for their parents' and grandparents' graves, but who goes looking for the childless greataunt's? Sorry, I know that sounds morbid, but I enjoy wandering around cemetaries seeing beautiful tributes to loved ones and imagining family histories. My Aunt has taken me out every couple of years ever since I was a kid, we always discover local history and it's such a peaceful way to spent time together and catch up in privacy.

OKCUTIE67 Joined Fri 04/02/10 Posts: 2118	Tue 06/22/10 10:58 AM
I would have sought out 2nd, 3rd, even 4th opinions for my female problems and not listen to my doctor who kept saying it was scar tissue when it was endometrosis and didn't get properly diagnosed until it had destroyed my fallopian tubes, ovaries and any possibility of me ever having children. I know just how you feel. I'm 41 and haven't been able to have babies either. There's a lonliness there that most can't even start to imagine. Questioning God about what is so bad about me that He doesn't want any part of me to passed on to a next generation. The anger you feel when people with kids tell you how lucky you are to not have THAT responsibility. I've even decided that I have to buy myself a really awesome tombstone so someone in the distant future will bother to stop and look at it. People look for their parents' and grandparents' graves, but who goes looking for the childless greataunt's? Sorry, I know that sounds morbid, but I enjoy wandering around cemetaries seeing beautiful tributes to loved ones and imagining family histories. My Aunt has taken me out every couple of years ever since I was a kid, we always discover local history and it's such a peaceful way to spent time together and catch up in privacy. Yes it certainly is a different kind of loneliness than most people ever experience. For me, I had more issues with not having a CHOICE. It would be one thing if I were able to choose not to have children. But I never had a choice...it was taken away from me before I even had time to think about children. Then add in that my last husband left me two months after my hysterectomy after telling me for almost 10 years that it did not matter to him that I couldn't have children. Timing is everything ya? I guess the reality was just too much for him and his family was always pressuring him about us having kids. He knew from the beginning that I couldn't...just didn't bother ever telling any of them that I guess. So now it's very difficult to think about getting old and the very real possibility that there will be no one there with me. I love the idea of an awesome headstone...but I don't want to be buried. I made my best friend promise that if she was still alive when I died, no matter where she was, that she would make sure I was cremated and that my ashes were scattered someplace cool. Her husband asked if he could add some to his weed and roll me up in a joint and smoke me! That sounded pretty cool to me!

MiVidaLoca Joined Mon 09/21/09 Posts: 909	Tue 06/22/10 10:59 AM
I never would have started seeing my ex

Shasta1 Joined Wed 09/09/09 Posts: 3308	Tue 06/22/10 11:06 AM
I've thought about it since yesterday and nothing. Who knows what a little shift in the past would make in todays world of mine? Not that my life is great but I am blessed.

hawken50 Joined Thu 05/13/10 Posts: 1	Tue 06/22/10 11:21 AM
10,000 good deeds and than just that one time you get really really drunk and have sex with a sheep. What are you for the rest of your life?

imsingle951 Joined Mon 12/01/08 Posts: 1984	Tue 06/22/10 04:01 PM
...If you could go back in time,with the ability to change ONE thing ..what would that one thing be... The times That I made my 1st exwife cry. To this day ( even though we have been divorced for 15 years ) I still feel bed over those times. You need to tell her that, if you havn't. She died on 1-28-2008

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Wed 06/23/10 02:01 AM
I would have sought out 2nd, 3rd, even 4th opinions for my female problems and not listen to my doctor who kept saying it was scar tissue when it was endometrosis and didn't get properly diagnosed until it had destroyed my fallopian tubes, ovaries and any possibility of me ever having children. I know just how you feel. I'm 41 and haven't been able to have babies either. There's a lonliness there that most can't even start to imagine. Questioning God about what is so bad about me that He doesn't want any part of me to passed on to a next generation. The anger you feel when people with kids tell you how lucky you are to not have THAT responsibility. I've even decided that I have to buy myself a really awesome tombstone so someone in the distant future will bother to stop and look at it. People look for their parents' and grandparents' graves, but who goes looking for the childless greataunt's? Sorry, I know that sounds morbid, but I enjoy wandering around cemetaries seeing beautiful tributes to loved ones and imagining family histories. My Aunt has taken me out every couple of years ever since I was a kid, we always discover local history and it's such a peaceful way to spent time together and catch up in privacy. Yes it certainly is a different kind of loneliness than most people ever experience. For me, I had more issues with not having a CHOICE. It would be one thing if I were able to choose not to have children. But I never had a choice...it was taken away from me before I even had time to think about children. Then add in that my last husband left me two months after my hysterectomy after telling me for almost 10 years that it did not matter to him that I couldn't have children. Timing is everything ya? I guess the reality was just too much for him and his family was always pressuring him about us having kids. He knew from the beginning that I couldn't...just didn't bother ever telling any of them that I guess. So now it's very difficult to think about getting old and the very real possibility that there will be no one there with me. I love the idea of an awesome headstone...but I don't want to be buried. I made my best friend promise that if she was still alive when I died, no matter where she was, that she would make sure I was cremated and that my ashes were scattered someplace cool. Her husband asked if he could add some to his weed and roll me up in a joint and smoke me! That sounded pretty cool to me! I understand that, I had no choice either. I lost a baby at 17 and think the quack doctor in the er messed me up while doing the d&c. I also lost my ex because I couldn't give him a baby. Lost him to my own niece, he moved out 6 weeks ago and their baby is due July 11th. And my sister had the gall to ask me if they should send me an invitation to the baby shower! So yeah, timing is everything. Don't give up hope of finding a wonderful guy out there for you. It can be really hard some days, but there will be someone right for each of us.

OKCUTIE67 Joined Fri 04/02/10 Posts: 2118	Wed 06/23/10 06:57 AM
I would have sought out 2nd, 3rd, even 4th opinions for my female problems and not listen to my doctor who kept saying it was scar tissue when it was endometrosis and didn't get properly diagnosed until it had destroyed my fallopian tubes, ovaries and any possibility of me ever having children. I know just how you feel. I'm 41 and haven't been able to have babies either. There's a lonliness there that most can't even start to imagine. Questioning God about what is so bad about me that He doesn't want any part of me to passed on to a next generation. The anger you feel when people with kids tell you how lucky you are to not have THAT responsibility. I've even decided that I have to buy myself a really awesome tombstone so someone in the distant future will bother to stop and look at it. People look for their parents' and grandparents' graves, but who goes looking for the childless greataunt's? Sorry, I know that sounds morbid, but I enjoy wandering around cemetaries seeing beautiful tributes to loved ones and imagining family histories. My Aunt has taken me out every couple of years ever since I was a kid, we always discover local history and it's such a peaceful way to spent time together and catch up in privacy. Yes it certainly is a different kind of loneliness than most people ever experience. For me, I had more issues with not having a CHOICE. It would be one thing if I were able to choose not to have children. But I never had a choice...it was taken away from me before I even had time to think about children. Then add in that my last husband left me two months after my hysterectomy after telling me for almost 10 years that it did not matter to him that I couldn't have children. Timing is everything ya? I guess the reality was just too much for him and his family was always pressuring him about us having kids. He knew from the beginning that I couldn't...just didn't bother ever telling any of them that I guess. So now it's very difficult to think about getting old and the very real possibility that there will be no one there with me. I love the idea of an awesome headstone...but I don't want to be buried. I made my best friend promise that if she was still alive when I died, no matter where she was, that she would make sure I was cremated and that my ashes were scattered someplace cool. Her husband asked if he could add some to his weed and roll me up in a joint and smoke me! That sounded pretty cool to me! I understand that, I had no choice either. I lost a baby at 17 and think the quack doctor in the er messed me up while doing the d&c. I also lost my ex because I couldn't give him a baby. Lost him to my own niece, he moved out 6 weeks ago and their baby is due July 11th. And my sister had the gall to ask me if they should send me an invitation to the baby shower! So yeah, timing is everything. Don't give up hope of finding a wonderful guy out there for you. It can be really hard some days, but there will be someone right for each of us. WOW! I'm so sorry that happened (is happening) to you! That has got to be rough! Sometimes family can screw you over worse than anyone else huh? shakin head (((((((((Rondoobie))))))))

Rondoobie Joined Wed 05/26/10 Posts: 578	Wed 06/23/10 09:25 AM
((((((((((OKCUTIE67)))))))))) Thanks, you don't know how much I needed that hug! Bet you could use one, too!

OKCUTIE67 Joined Fri 04/02/10 Posts: 2118	Thu 06/24/10 09:43 AM
((((((((((OKCUTIE67)))))))))) Thanks, you don't know how much I needed that hug! Bet you could use one, too! I can ALWAYS use a hug! Thanks!!!

Mikey117 Joined Mon 11/20/06 Posts: 23736	Thu 06/24/10 09:47 AM
Hugs to both U beautiful ladies!!! I could name Many things I regret but chose to look to the future and it is once again looking brighter!!

Kings_Knight Joined Sat 01/31/09 Posts: 3718	Thu 06/24/10 09:55 AM
The middle word in 'LIFE' is 'IF' ...

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