p.s. If you're too lazy to use spell check on something that you're intending to impress people with, forget it.

That's another thing. I had no idea there were so many ways to misspell "I'm laid back and easy going."

could you have a look at my profile and give me your opinion

I have to differ. You are a writer. There are many people who do not know how to express themselves on paper. Yes they come here, but have never taken a writing class, written a letter or simply have the knack of communicating via the written word. I know many very wonderful people (family included!) who are very well educated, could write a thesis yet to write about themselves is a very difficult task. They are excellent conversationalists, great sense of humor or dry wit, well rounded and grounded but writing is not their thing. First hand experience - my brothers are wonderful men to be around- social- educated, teach at university but to get a card or email cracks me up with what they write (10 words), to get on the phone with them is a totally different world. So if you are simply judging someone that attracts you- thats what am saying about putting yourself out there, forget about you and think of them. Some people are ackward about themselves, some still have humility, and some just don't want to put it all out there for all the world to see. Yes, they still exist, many, many more than one would imagine.
I don't think, after all the profiles have read, that any of the ones that people have written come even close to who they are until getting to know them through their threads. For example...a real long profile just turns me off. I stop reading. Too much useless information to begin with, too much to take in before even getting to know the person.. And all of it could be the result of a very vivid imagination. Yes some of them give you a inkling into a persons psyche, and that helps but usually (for me only- am not generalizing or speaking for anyone else) it's just long winded when all I want to know is what they are like, things they enjoy, whom they are looking for, etc.

I've never taken a writing class, either.

But -- and this is entirely subjective -- it makes a difference to me if someone can express themselves in writing. I'm not saying it's the only criterion -- it isn't -- but it is a criterion.



If someone attracts me, then I am going to want to know something about that person.

In a venue such as a dating site, all I have to work with is what they put in their profile (and possibly in their forum posts, but that almost never happens).

Granted, this may be the most wonderful person in the world, but "I don't know what to write here" is not exactly going to let me know this.

So -- the question is, how much time and energy and effort do I want to exert to pull information out of someone?

And the answer is -- none.

I don't want to do that. I shouldn't have to do that. If someone is too lazy or too incapable to provide a little bit of relevant information about themselves, at least enough to where a thinking human being could make an evaluation of whether or not this is someone who might be worth communicating with, then where's my incentive to dig?

I mean, that's what a profile is (ostensibly) FOR -- to let people know something about a person. If people don't use it for that, fine, but I'm not in a position to hire a team of detectives to find out all of the stuff they were too lazy to put in their profile.



Agreed, there is probably no profile that will really capture the entire essence of a person.



My philosophy on my own profile is "longer is better" because I don't want to waste anybody's time, and I certainly don't want them wasting mine.

It's true that most long profiles don't contain sufficient material or information to justify the length. Most long profiles are just poems written by other people, long lists of misspelled words, and excruciating rants by people who have have been badly mistreated for the past 47 years and are tired of it and who will kill the next guy who looks at them funny just like Aunt Mildred did back in 1922 when some guy threw a tomato at a passing horse and he missed and the tomato hit Aunt Mildred instead.....

In the end, we all have to decide for ourselves how critical these things are.

If someone attracts me, then I am going to want to know something about that person.

In a venue such as a dating site, all I have to work with is what they put in their profile (and possibly in their forum posts, but that almost never happens).

Granted, this may be the most wonderful person in the world, but "I don't know what to write here" is not exactly going to let me know this.

So -- the question is, how much time and energy and effort do I want to exert to pull information out of someone?

And the answer is -- none.

I don't want to do that. I shouldn't have to do that. If someone is too lazy or too incapable to provide a little bit of relevant information about themselves, at least enough to where a thinking human being could make an evaluation of whether or not this is someone who might be worth communicating with, then where's my incentive to dig?

I mean, that's what a profile is (ostensibly) FOR -- to let people know something about a person. If people don't use it for that, fine, but I'm not in a position to hire a team of detectives to find out all of the stuff they were too lazy to put in their profile.


So then you want them to come to you?
More men than women, you wouldn't beleive how many, have absolutely nothing on their profile. Yet when they contact me or visa versa..sometimes .theres alot more to the person than meets the eye. That goes for everyone you'll ever meet.
I just don't understand how then, you are going to find someone.
You say you'll put 'none' effort into such a profile even if this person had 17 pictures, all of which really did something to you brain, a tug at the strings? I'm really surprised that there is no mystique in you- no sdearch of the mystery.
I do see though about once every 5-6 weeks you do come up with a analog of how or why you haven't met anyone worthwhile here. If you're going on whats in the forums....well theres diversity in all. And in profiles women aren't going to put it all down, maybe very little...they like the being chased part of the dance. You have a very strict box in which you seek, this is from a observance of you and your search posts over the last 8 months from a objective fellow mingler...thats all. Nothing personal and please don't take it any way other.

I suppose. I almost never write to anyone first, and I've never gotten a response when I did. So that avenue is a dead end.

I do get a lot of e-mails from people who have read my profile or something I posted in the forums. Unfortunately, these are never people who are compatible or close enough to meet in person. But that's just S.O.P. for dating sites, in my experience.



I don't doubt that. But I don't spend a lot of time looking at guys' profiles. The ones I've seen, though, are almost invariably empty of content.



But there's a big difference between "a lot more to the person than meets the eye" and "something that makes this person a viable potential partner."



I don't think I will, but I'm OK with that because there just isn't anyone I'm aware of (at the moment) who could hold my attention for more than 11 minutes. I guess I'm looking for an 'exception" who probably no longer exists. I'll just have to deal with that.



I'm tired of searching and mystery -- because, in the end, they always wind up being the same person in a different package. All they ever want is a cardboard cutout sitcom dad. That's not me, and it will never be me.



"Diversity" is a pretty broad term. Yes, this one may have painted her toenails a different color than that one. This one may drive a Ford while the other one drives a Volkswagen. The kind of "diversity" that matters to me seems to have been swallowed up by societal inertia and expectation. I'm not going to settle for something I don't want just for the sake of being with someone -- as I've said before, if I wanted that, I could have stayed married.



Vicious circle -- why should I chase unless I have a reason to believe there's something worth chasing?

At any rate, I find the whole idea of the "chase" to be a pointless waste of time.



It's true, I have a very specific idea of who I want to be with, and I'm about 99.9% sure that this person simply cannot be found on a dating site....at least not any dating site I've ever looked at.

Wat u waiting for alex GO 4 IT

4 days later -- the e-mail hasn't even been read. This is what I'm up against!

yea true missing like what... i thought thats why their on this dating thing but whatev... missing people