I for one understand your dilema. I am a 31 year old female, never really had a boyfriend, the closet I got was a guy I met online who we became friends and was starting a relationship, but being that I'd never had a boyfriend, didn't really know when it went into a relationship or what, but before we could get started into anything he stole from me and that was it. I am a plus size female so that's the first thing most guys don't want. though I am a confident plus size woman, I do not want to be a play thing only for a guy so I have very high standards and I don't let just anyone in, because it is perceived that most big girls are easy and just happy to have someone talk to them, but I want so much more for myself and I refuse to sleep around. I too am not secluded in the house, I work two jobs, am out and about but can't seem to meet a guy. I cannot help the physical way that I look. i don't think that I am an ugly female, but I realize that I am no Halle Berry. I want someone who I can enjoy the day with, someone to talk to at the end of the day, someone to go out with. Yeah I know they say, well when you least expect it, it happens, I'm 31 and how can I not look and not expect it when it's all around me. Friends, family, strangers, movies, books, the way of the world is to be with someone. I have a loving relationship with the Lord, I love Him but I does that make me less of a person, less of a Christian because I want someone to share life with. The bible also said that it is not good for man to be alone. So where is my someone so I won't be alone. I want someone to call me in the middle of the night, just to say HI. Being single SUCKS! LOL. I eat alone, I go to movies alone, to church alone, Food does not taste the same by yourself.

I don't really know what to tell you, but I do know that you don't want to hear that, "when it's your time." or "if it's meant to be it will" I know I don't. I don't want to hear, "stop looking." It hurts so much when you see friends, family and other couples out and you want that for yourself, you want to know what it's like to have someone call you a tender pet name, you want that someone who values your opion on things. You want to know what it's like to just lay your head on that persons shoulder and enjoy a movie or music together. Or rather those are the things that I want. I hate when people say I know what you feel like becuase most don't. Most people who are single only know what it's like to be without someone for the moment, but they have those memories to look back on, where you have none, you want those memeories,. It seems silly, but I want to know what it feels like to be upset at my guy for no reason other than he forgot to call. These are all the things that I've seen from friends and I want to experience it. I can't sleep at night because the loneliness hits me at night, I cry just from being lonely so I know but hang in there.

I have no words to tell you, but I hold on to the faith that maybe when I do least expect it, I'll find someone who accept me for me, for the beautiful and wonderful woman that I am. Until then I can only keep the faith and pray.