This was something i could never achieve, although i tried. Now theres a secular aspect to this and a religious aspect to this that says if you're not happy being single, then you wont be happy married. I just cant believe that. Because if youre happy being single then would a spouse or "signicant other" be sorta redundent? Id like to bring up the religous aspect of it but this is not a Christian board, yall have a board for that and ill bring it up on that board so as not to cause confusion.
But another thing id like to point out is if you're not happy being single, and noone of the oppisette sex wants to have anything to do with you romanticly because of that, and it seems all they want is someone who is happy being single, why try to change thier status, if they're just happy with the way things are now? Again, redundency.
Thats always been my question, but i didnt how to ask.

I think you have to be OK with yourself and your own situation. No one else is going to "fix" you. You may think you need that, but the only one who can "fix" you is you.

What I've realized is that, while being single is certainly not my ideal scenario, it beats being with anyone I've ever been with.

When it comes down to it, if you're not happy with yourself and being on your own, you're not going to automatically be happy with someone else. The best thing to do is work on being happy with yourself first. If you're not able to do that and enjoy your life without someone, being with someone is not going to solve those issues.

It's not "happy being single" as in you don't want to be part of a relationship. It's just plain old being happy with yourself, regardless of your relationship status. If you aren't comfortable in your own skin and are seeking someone else to make you feel good about yourself, it is a disaster waiting to happen.

Let me get this striaght: If we don't need to be in a relationship and are perfectly happy with the way things are and then find someone and then we are in a relationship, thats a good thing. But if we need it, then we get it...its a disaster. So its alot better to have it when we dont need it.
It just seems like we survive on redundency. Its almost as if i decide to stop eating until its proven we dont need food to survive, and then i can eat again.
Its just i keep hearing "I cant imagine my life without him/her"...but you HAD a life without him/her. Or "I can't make it without him/her"...well, how do you you got this far in life without him/her? But yet when someone shows a real need for a relationship they're needy and/or pathetic. It just never made sense to me at all.

I am happy being single, today. I know what you mean about that taking a while. It is a readjustment for sure. What has helped me has been learning how to communicate better with friends. It sure took a lot of friends, though.

I am very happy with myself. but I am not happy bieng single. Sure I make it through the days, I am not suicidle or anything remotely close to that. I am also not a liar.I agree, I think people should be happy with themselves, I think its important. but did it ever occur to any of you that some people are just not because they just aren't. its not their fault. They are not weak, or pathetic. they are people that need understanding. some people there only hope in life is for that special someone to find them. not to fix their life for them. but to give them hope. to give support. to help them give themselves the tools that they need to make it. some people have no one in this world to guide them. sometimes. some people need someone, to show them that someone cares.

This was the answer i was trying to get. Yes there ARE people like what you described, im one of them, but yet i keep hearing, "if youre not happy without, you'll never be happy with someone." Everybody whoever said that to me TOTALY missed the point of what i said. And all these 20 years NOBODY wanted to help me. Now im 40, still living with my mom, no life, NOTHING. All because i couldnt be happy being single. And thats not the end all, be all story. Thank you so much Cameron for explaining what i couldnt explain.

I am perfectly happy with myself...well not perfectly happy but is that ever possible?

Anywho....I am someone who is ok with being alone because I am secure in who I am and what I have accomplished in my life. HOWEVER.....I am also someone who craves personal contact. I do not WANT to be without someone to share my life with...someone to love and be loved by in return. Doesn't mean that I NEED someone all the time...but it is something that I desire in my life. So just because I love having someone in my life, does that mean that I am unhappy without someone? No...it just means that I prefer to be in a relationship instead of single. There is no perfect equation and not everyone "fits" into the rules of romance/love. Live and do by what makes you happy and don't worry about what everyone else says!

If ya don't enjoy your own company..do ya really expect anyone else will...

It's okay being single, However I much rather have a cuddle partner.

Support can be gained from family or friends. I am not saying anyone is pathetic , weak, or anything else derogatory; however, step back and look at what you have said. If a person truly believes that their "only hope in life is for that special someone to find them", they are likely in for a rough road.

OKCUTIE67 said it really well.



"Want" and "Need". If someone is incapable of being happy with them self, no "special someone" will truly fix that. All it will do is place your view of yourself squarely on someone else's shoulders. That is not fair to you or them. It may make you feel good about yourself for a while, but what happens when the other person is having a rough time. Who is there for them? Your self image is wrapped up in them, you cannot support them...

Not wanting to be single is very different than needing someone. I am at a point in my life where I am starting over. I did not want this to happen; however, I do not need a woman to validate me. I am a good man, and a great father. I do what I know is right. I hold myself to a high ethical and moral standard. I am happy with the person I am.

Your life is what you choose to make it. Get out of the house. Go out with friends. Take a class that interests you. Do something to make yourself feel good. When you feel good about who you are other people will be attracted to that. At that point you can figure out if there is an attraction to YOU and if it worth giving a relationship a shot.

wow... that was a long post...

You cannot wait around for others to help you. You also cannot get mad at others for not helping you. It's your life. If you need help with things, then you need to get it.

alone is not always lonely, but hopefully not forever cos then it becomes really alone and lonely

I am happy being single
After I dated three wack jobs in a row I decided to take a year off and just be by myself. The first nine months was tough but now its been over a year and I'm having a blast. Hang in there

Porn helps....when you are single.

I think it has more doing with being secure with your self were you are and what you do.........more or less at peace with ones self...... .........being comfortable with who you are and life...

Then when you meet someone you can enjoy life with that person for your more in-tune with yourself....just have to hope they are as well...

You can be lonely when you're with someone, too. I've been there, and it was worse then being single and alone.