Dear Son,

This is your dear old mother writing to you. There is a lot of
interesting news since you left. It’s wet, but not as wet as when it
was real wet.
I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. Excuse the
writing, I had an accident. I burnt my fingers in some boiling water. I
should have felt the water before I put my fingers in it. I’m feeling
better since you went away: Went to the doctor and got a wonderful
medicine for my deafness. I took a dose on Friday night, and it was so
good I heard from Uncle Hughie in Australia on the Saturday morning. I
feel 25 years younger, and your father is delighted. Your brother Ernie
came in crying from school this evening because all his pals have new
clothes: We can’t afford to buy him a new outfit, so we are going to
buy him a new hat, so he can look out of the window.

We had an argument with the electric light company; it ended in a
draw: we got no light and they got no money. It is very dark, but not as
dark as when it was real dark. We are hard up son. Send us five quid –
it will only cost you five pence.

Our neighbours, the Browns, started to keep pigs, and we only got the
wind of them this morning. Friday night was wet, we went to bed early.
Mr Higgins got his appendix out and a new kitchen sink in. The cat had
four kittens in your fathers’ hat. I put them in a box in case they
grew up round shouldered. The undertaker called round and said that if
the last instalment on your Mother-in-laws grave isn’t paid, She’s
coming up. Your father has worms, and has gone fishing. We heard from
your cousin that Annie passed away, your old Grannie died and Fanny
married the butcher. So now you have no Annie, no Grannie and no Fanny.

Your father has a good job now. The first in ten years. We are a
great deal better off than we were. Your father gets 10 pound every
Thursday as we do a bit of fixing up. We bought one of them new fangled
things they call bathrooms. You hear tell of them in some houses. It is
put in by a man called a plumber. On one side of the room is a big long
thing, what you used to feed the pigs in before you went away. We jump
into that, and wash all over. But, near that, is a small one they call a
sink. That is for light washing, such as hands and face. Ah! But over in
the corner is the nicest contraption of all. You put one foot in and
wash it clean. Then you pull a chain, and you get fresh water for the
other foot. Two covers came with it, and we hadn’t any use for them in
the bathroom, so I’m using one as a breadboard, and the other has a
hole in it, so we framed your Granddads picture.
They sent us a big roll of writing paper with it.
This is what I’m using now Son to write to you.
I would have put five pounds in this letter for you, but the
envelope’s sealed.
Take care of yourself,

Your Mammy.
P.S. Your father has been recently prescribed Viagra by Dr Murphy.
Please excuse the wobbly writing.

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO

Too funny!!! :)

the English always have the lamest irish jokes... you should hear the
ones we have about ourselves.

Believe it or not an Irish guy gave me that himself