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Topic: Job Opening Apply within
purplecat's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:19 AM
>> POSITION :>> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

>>>> JOB DESCRIPTION :>>>> Long term, team players needed, for challenging>> permanent work in an,>> often chaotic environment.>> Candidates must possess excellent communication>> and organizational skills and be willing to work>> variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends>> and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.>> Some overnight travel required, including trips to>> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports >>tournaments in far away cities!>> Travel expenses not reimbursed.>> Extensive courier duties also required.>>>> RESPONSIBILITIES :>>>> The rest of your life.>> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,>> until someone needs $5.>> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.>> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a>> pack mule>> and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat>> in case, this time, the screams from>> the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.>> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,>> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets>> and stuck zippers.>> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and>> coordinate production of multiple homework projects.>> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings>> for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.>> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,>> an embarrassment the next.>> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a>> half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.>> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.>> Must assume final, complete accountability for>> the quality of the end product.>> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and>> janitorial work throughout the facility.>>>> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :>>>> None.>> Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without >>complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,>> so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you>>>> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :>>>> None required unfortunately.>> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.>>>> WAGES AND COMPENSATION :>>>> Get this! You pay them!>> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.>> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because>> of the assumption that college will help them>> become financially independent.>> When you die, you give them whatever is left.>> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that>> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.>>>> BENEFITS :>>>> While no health or dental insurance, no pension,>> no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and>> no stock options are offered;>> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth>> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.>> etc....:tongue:

s1owhand's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:21 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh purplecat laugh laugh laugh
laugh

U devil U

no photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:21 AM
omg.......i am a DAD!!!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh

jharter2123's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:25 AM
hahahaha...Im a dad too...yay!!!!!

laugh

purplecat's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:26 AM
laugh
gee no response .........glasses ?????huh hmmm
must have worded it wrong....laugh

nurjoyce's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:26 AM
me 2!!!!

happy father's day to all the dads!!!!!!!!!

eaglewoods's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:26 AM
BAM PURPLECAT:::::NOT MY LINE OF WORK LOLflowerforyou drinker

eaglewoods's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:32 AM
:::::::::ALL U OTHERS M ::::::::::::::::THAT JUST FOUND OUT THAT U
WERE DADS U ALL HAVE A GOOD ONE 222flowerforyou flowerforyou
drinker drinker

LAMom's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:33 AM
((((Purple))))
Way cool, Awesome flowerforyou

Whoaaaaaaaaa I am a Dad,,, Love this Job,


Happy Fathers to all the Dads flowerforyou

Morena350's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:34 AM
Im a dad 2,,whohooooooooooooolaugh

no photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:34 AM
I'm hoping I don't grow a pen*s.....but then again that could be
fun!!!!!laugh laugh laugh laugh

someone2hold's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:36 AM
i am not one anymore . . .

but -

Happy Father's Day to All
and to All that have the Dual Role also

s1owhand's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:37 AM
there was a "prosthetic" lying around here on one of the other threads

no photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:39 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh noway noway noway

nurjoyce's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:41 AM
someone...not one anymore????

to all those who are not fathers, however help or are
a big part in a child's life.....THANK YOU!!!!

someone2hold's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:47 AM
4yr old step-daughter, pasted away in 2000 from a sudden illness,
closest i have been to . . . rasied her from 6 months

nurjoyce's photo
Sun 06/17/07 11:48 AM
awe...((((((((someone))))))))))
flowerforyou

s1owhand's photo
Sun 06/17/07 12:13 PM
:cry: ultimate pain :cry:

last year around this time i had a *final* conversation with one of my
closest friends...massive pulmonary embolism...he was a bit younger than
me...both of his parents are also close friends...and they are still
having a rough time. sometimes.

nurjoyce's photo
Sun 06/17/07 12:15 PM
((((((((slow)))))))))))))
:cry:

s1owhand's photo
Sun 06/17/07 12:17 PM
Management does not approve of me working any more outside jobs!!

Too bad. Bet that the benefit package is GREAT...

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