All my poems are about failure and all my dreams
Are about what I’ve lost. When I’m awake I fill
My time with errors, so I don’t have to think about
Either one. I keep saying I won’t fall again, but
that seems to be all I do. I wrote that stupid, ****ing
poem and then I did that stupid, ****ing thing, and
now it’s all around me- with no escape, well except
For you.

I’ve given myself absolution and said all that ****
They want to hear, but nothing’s changed; I could
Have kept it to myself. I’m trapped in confusion
And wrapped up in crazy, and in the meantime I
Think of things I shouldn’t- what could have been,
What he wants to be, and what he would have never
Allowed if he was still around.

I never thought I’d need protection from myself,
But now I do- those jail cells I used to dream of,
I’m pretty sure they’re in my mind. Back then
I didn’t know the meaning of anything, even
Though it wasn’t my first time. It should have
Hurt more, I guess it’s all up to perception; you
Only bleed for a little while, and then you forget
And you’re back to square one.

If I could do what I know how to do, all of this
Would change, if I hadn’t done what I was taught
To do, none of this would even matter. But then
I remember how you said you wanted it to be over
While you were begging me not to leave. So then I
Wonder which one of us is crazy- because nothing
That never happened should ever be this hard to let go.

03/17/10

this reads so from the heart and soul ~ masterfully done!

Thank you very much.

That was great!! Really was...

...now quit writing about me

I'm glad you liked it, Teditis.

geat poem

you made my toast very happy

Awww, thanks wolf, you made me happy with your comment.

another nice write calleigh

i like the style you write in, very different

Thanks, lonetar.

so I guess the words didn't leave after all....

They always come back, thank goodness.

Always filled with a vivid awareness of regrets, what ifs and why...questions we ask ourselves every day. Your always making me think back.

Thank you, pkd.

Very interesting write, Leigh.
The last stanza really stuck out to me... it has this definite sense of closure.

It's really interesting to see how your style evolves throughout the piece... as the subject matter and the tone slowly shift towards a strange acceptance at the end.

Dig it!

IF only ALL of US had this insight going always,,,,,what a world we would share here,,,wink,This was very much a nice work from your mind and heart..

If I could do what I know how to do, all of this
Would change, if I hadn’t done what I was taught
To do, none of this would even matter


Cheers to THAT!!!!!

Thanks so much, Plastic and Iam4u.

wow! excellent piece!!

Thank you.

heartfelt,enjoyed.

Thank you 2kidsmom.