Topic: The Man Rules | |
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Starting early today. I thought that this was funny. I'm going to post it on my office wall.
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules"From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 1.. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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Awww but to each Man Rule there must be a woman's answer hehehehe.......................
Starting early today. I thought that this was funny. I'm going to post it on my office wall. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules"From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) Ladies ladies now with two heads what do you expect they are so confused they can't remember which head takes in information and which one makes the deposits..... Ohhhhhh I was going to answer each one of them but ya know I keep coming back to my first answer hehehehehe tootles ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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10 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS
OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS. 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 5. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can tell them apart. 6. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. 7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 8. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 9. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books. 10. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. |
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you can tell a man what to do
or you can tell him how to do it you can't do both |
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10 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS. 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 5. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can tell them apart. 6. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. 7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 8. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 9. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books. 10. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. Awesome ![]() |
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Awww but to each Man Rule there must be a woman's answer hehehehe....................... Starting early today. I thought that this was funny. I'm going to post it on my office wall. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules"From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) Ladies ladies now with two heads what do you expect they are so confused they can't remember which head takes in information and which one makes the deposits..... Ohhhhhh I was going to answer each one of them but ya know I keep coming back to my first answer hehehehehe tootles ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You have a good point! All the more reason to take it easy on us with The Man Rules ![]() |
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10 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS. 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway. 5. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can tell them apart. 6. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it. 7. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 8. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 9. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books. 10. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his. I like that. ![]() |
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Awww but to each Man Rule there must be a woman's answer hehehehe....................... Starting early today. I thought that this was funny. I'm going to post it on my office wall. The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules"From the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) Ladies ladies now with two heads what do you expect they are so confused they can't remember which head takes in information and which one makes the deposits..... Ohhhhhh I was going to answer each one of them but ya know I keep coming back to my first answer hehehehehe tootles ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Okayyyyyyyyyyy here we go again Men listen and pay attention. When you go in the bathroom the Toilet Lid is closed..... Funny it is the same way when we go in we will open the top cover to sit down where OMG Men have to open the cover and the lid at one time. We really know this is just more then ya'll can handle. Shshshsh just lift the damn lid and then with a flick of the wrist both will shut at one time. ![]() ![]() Hummm so you see we not open up the cover but shut it when we are through and have to go behind ya'll to shut it as well.... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Monier,
I was never good at rules. Can't I just smile, bat my eyelashes, wink and you will do whatever I want. It's easy really. ![]() ![]() |
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Monier, I was never good at rules. Can't I just smile, bat my eyelashes, wink and you will do whatever I want. It's easy really. ![]() ![]() Dammit Chrissy why ya got to go tell them that now. Shshshs let them think we are all B*****s that way when we pull that we can get them to do anything....Now we can't use that ploy anymore ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Monier, I was never good at rules. Can't I just smile, bat my eyelashes, wink and you will do whatever I want. It's easy really. ![]() ![]() Dammit Chrissy why ya got to go tell them that now. Shshshs let them think we are all B*****s that way when we pull that we can get them to do anything....Now we can't use that ploy anymore ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() *dutifully handing over her woman card* I'm sorry K, you're right. Atleast I didn't tell them about the "uh excuse me, could you give me a hand" ploy. UGH! Dammit! |
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Monier, I was never good at rules. Can't I just smile, bat my eyelashes, wink and you will do whatever I want. It's easy really. ![]() ![]() Dammit Chrissy why ya got to go tell them that now. Shshshs let them think we are all B*****s that way when we pull that we can get them to do anything....Now we can't use that ploy anymore ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() *dutifully handing over her woman card* I'm sorry K, you're right. Atleast I didn't tell them about the "uh excuse me, could you give me a hand" ploy. UGH! Dammit! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Damn I used to love to camp but my ex stole my couch..... ![]() |
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Boys boys.
We don't care whether the seat is up or down. We would much prefer you concentrate on AIM. That would make US happy campers. Then we could hog the couch. |
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Monier, I was never good at rules. Can't I just smile, bat my eyelashes, wink and you will do whatever I want. It's easy really. ![]() ![]() Dammit Chrissy why ya got to go tell them that now. Shshshs let them think we are all B*****s that way when we pull that we can get them to do anything....Now we can't use that ploy anymore ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() *dutifully handing over her woman card* I'm sorry K, you're right. Atleast I didn't tell them about the "uh excuse me, could you give me a hand" ploy. UGH! Dammit! Ohhhh heck one more down the drain well don't tell them about the promise of something special as ya walk away licking your lips ploy................. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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