I just found out a few days ago that my son is Bi and that he has had an "encounter" with another boy. I'm handling it ok. I think. Making sure he's protected. etc. letting him know I love him as he is. but his father is another story. he is acting like its the end of the world. he has mentioned suicide (the father) and never has he mentioned killing himself before. He's acting very strange around our son, we are divorced, and his mood tonight when he dropped off my sons backpack was very diturbing to me. I need advice not on how to handle my son. but his father. his behavior is upsetting my boy. Did I mention his Dad is over the top religious? not a good religious. fanatic.

Unfortunately you can't control what his father thinks. All you can do is talk to your son and let your son vent to you and you can help him deal with this. How old is your son?

There is no real handling of a true fanatic. Express to his father that his son still needs his love and continue to show him that you love him. You really have no control over what the Father chooses though, all you can do is let your feelings be known.

he's 16

what Im most worried about at this time is if his dad does take his own life. my son will blame himself. no matter how much of a jerk he can be a boy needs his father.

How much of a fanatic is he?

If he has devout allegiance to a church (your sons father, this is) u may talk him into seeking their advice.

Although I understand it being a lifealtering realization about his child, I think maybe someone he revered, like a pastor or preacher, may give him advice on how to handle things better. If there is noone he respects, it wont matter, but perhaps he still will listen if it comes directly from his 'church.'. good luck

How much of a fanatic is he?

If he has devout allegiance to a church (your sons father, this is) u may talk him into seeking their advice.

Although I understand it being a lifealtering realization about his child, I think maybe someone he revered, like a pastor or preacher, may give him advice on how to handle things better. If there is noone he respects, it wont matter, but perhaps he still will listen if it comes directly from his 'church.'. good luck

thank you. He's paranoid fanatic. he doesnt go to one specific church. Ive suggested it. my oppinion is dad needs counseling. serious psyciatric counseling. on both the issues of my son and his paranioa. it is that bad!

I would suggest counseling for your son because this is something he will deal with in life but, also, to learn how to handle things with his dad

I think there is nothing that can be done if someone really wants to take their own life. I empathize with your concern its tough to deal with suicide threats from others.

If he is feeling so strongly about homosexuality, perhaps he will feel as strongly about suicide. Whichever way he decides, please dont allow yourself or your son to feel responsible for HIS decision. I was married to a suicidal man and I learned the hard way to stop accepting responsbility for HIS decisions. I also was concerned for how our daughter would deal with it and I decided I would be honest about the fact that her dad was ILL, an illness he had long before she was here and one she should NEVER feel any responsibilty for.

so let me get this,the boy's dad is religious but yet talks about taking his own life.. seems rather hypocritical is it not,obviously another one of those who uses religion rather than practicing it...
..jmo

exactly. my son is in therapy. and by my daughter do you mean the one my other post was about? he's not her dad. my other daughter, his daughter doesnt like him.

all you can do is be there for your son and have him discuss with a professional these things so he will know how to handle it better. Sounds like you are doing all you are doing all you can

Thank you.

I have found (with my own problems) that having someone I am comfortable with venting to helps a lot. May not seem like much....but it helps.

..maybe the dad needs to worry more about his kids than he does himself..he needs to love them for who they are rather than 'HATE"..doesn't seem religious to me ..altho i grew up without a father i know how important they can be i have raised my son by myself..but i also know it would be better without the wrong kind of dad..
..sounds like the boy would be better off without his father's influence since he can't love his son unconditionally..i'll almost bet the father was a controlling one

..sounds to me like they would be better off without him in their lives until he figures out that the world doesn't revolve around him ..jmo...

This is a pretty complex issue your dealing with, my advice is for you and your son to get counseling about his pappy. You are absolutely right, if his dad kills himself because he can't handle having a gay son your son will blame himself. Your son needs to understand (if he doesn't already) that this is how he was born, not a choice they way god fearin folks believe, and there is nothing that he (your son) can do to change it.