At least you got some traffic going on.

At least this confirms that most women here get a fairly large amount of interest so they don't need to cry about "there is nobody contacting me " and the rest of the similar complaints.

It works a lot like this; let's use me as an example. THIS IS NOT ON MY PROFILE.

"I'm a nice, caring, loving, and sexy guy."

Okay, now we have the base, now we will go further. First we have 'nice', which is highly subjective, nice can be any number of things but either way it is spun it is someone else saying that they are nice...regardless of whether or not anyone else thinks they are.

Then we have 'caring', which is also highly subjective and can include a number of things such as but not limited too, financial stability, nurturing, security, etc. One may not work for someone but will work for another person, financial stability comes to mind...not everyone you are going to date is going to need help money-wise and some are proud that they can pay their own way in life.

Next we have 'loving', another highly subjective term that can include everything from sex to cooking dinner. Which all the same, one works for someone but is a waste of time for someone else, such as cooking...what if you meet someone that can cook, loves to cook, and does it well? Well, then they don't want you to always cook for them.

And last we have 'sexy', and it is always a self-proclamation from the person (i.e. first person view). It is a lot like a guy running into a cafe and telling everyone he is a 'nice, sexy, easy going guy'. It won't work, well, mostly it won't work.

You cannot declare yourself anything, leave that to people that know you and other peoples observation. It is a one-sided view from someone that is trying to 'sell' themself, so to speak. In turn that means we have to be proven these things before we will actually believe you are a 'nice, caring, loving, and sexy guy'.

Cheers.

Hmmm. I'm not sure that makes sense to me. Or maybe this is
the "newest trend" with the online thing. Personally, I don't
think you can get the true worth of a person online. I mean,
if they're gonna be a player (etc), they'll continue to hide
it ... I think you get much better feedback in person.

What happened during the days before online forums (dating/etc)?

I remember being invited to a party many years (20+ years) by a
friend (didn't know the party-thrower), knocked on the door and
the girl (house of party) answered - I about fell on the floor.
We hit it off instantly ... I stayed the evening and we went to
the beach the next day - from then on it never ended.

Within a year we were married (many years later she
died in a plane crash).

I've had more than one relationship happen this way. Meet someone
at some sort of gathering, sit and talk for a while, ask for a date,
and on to the more serious. It happens (to me) to this day. I'm
asked by a friend to come over to their house to meet someone.
What should you do then? Say, "give me your email address so
we can get to know one another"?

IMO, emailing back-n-forth would be likened to writing letters
back-n-forth in the old days. Although you can get a spirit of
the person on the other end, I think it makes sense to communicate
on a more "personal level". email is sooooo impersonal.

But you talked for awhile before going on a date, even if it was an hour or two it was still 'getting to know them' persay. It makes perfect sense then to e-mail back and forth for awhile (longer than a couple of hours obviously we can't fit an entire conversation in e-mails) and then decide to get together and talk.

You can't just walk into a date without knowing anything about a person, it is counter-productive.

I'm considerably more insane than most people.
I would dig if a girl asked if it was alright to call me.

Correspondence rocks, especially for writer-folk, but I think there is a purer connection over the phone.

I'm not saying that I'd never meet them. I'm simply typing from personal experience and I have no idea what others have encountered. What I'm saying is that I'd never rush into a situation like that, the fact that they're asking me to goes against my very nature.
In most situations they haven't even asked what my name was OR offered theirs.

I'm willing to go on dates with people but I'd like to know a little about them before I go out of my way to meet them in person. And as such it's just more simple to email rather then calling them whilst I go throughout my busy day. (Have you ever served a person at a counter who's talking on their cell phone? It's pretty rude and everytime I've done it I feel like a jerk.)

Though I do understand about the impersonal bit.

I actually had one guy in a chat room several years ago ask me privately if we could "chat". I told him quite publically that the only "chating" we would do would be in the public forum, because I'm not into "cyber". The same should generally apply to dating forums. As a safety precaution, one should not give out phone numbers or call a number so given. You never knkow what kind of nut-case you're dealing with. I will occassionally make an exception to this rule. (I asked a guy from a near-by town out to a sportsmen's club event this past weekend. He never showed, but if he had, what better place to meet someone[that you've met online] face-to-face than an event where everyone knows you, and believes in the right to bear arms, and some of them are carrying? LOL) My point is, it's just not safe to just give out phone numbers online, or to call numbers too easily received on the internet.

Maybe I'm rude, but I tend to ignore nudges from strangers if they don't follow up with an email.

People who nudge me - be warned.
I like to write long e-mails. *smile*

No one is saying talking on the phone is a bad thing.

Talking on the phone is not entirely a bad thing, it's just not the safest way to jump into things from the internet. There are some real shady people out there looking to prey on others, at worst, or to just have a one-night-stand, at best. It would seem that if they are wanting you to call right away, they probably fall into that range of contacts, not the "let's see if we can genuinely hit it off for the long haul" category.

I think women have to worry about crazies more.

How do you figure?

I like crazy women.

A lot of women (not all) on the forums talk about being creeped out by guys online.

But as I said... I like crazy women; crazy people in general.

I once stalked a boyfriend for fun and he knew it was a joke. However, I've been in situations where there were guys who did it in a fashion that was not a joke. I had to change my phone numbers, get new emails and the one guy told all our mutual connections that I was basically going to have his child...
My roomie gave him my phone numbers just because I danced with him at the bar and she thought I might be lonely. I met him in real life. He was crazy. And not in the cool fun way. I've got nothing against crazies. Hell, people who are usually self-proclaimed sane people are the craziest. So I don't think my caution concerning online dating is unreasonable. Or protecting my contact information.

Just think of my tight-lipped ways about my contact info as the Everlast from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. You need the key or a locksmith.

I don't think the way you view it is unreasonable at all.
I got stalked.

It didn't really freak me out, though.

Maybe I'm just extraordinarily laid back. Non-issue for me.

Cheers.

Yep, exactly. For most guys, any interest from a woman, no matter who she is is flattering, but women have to worry about a lot more, simply because we're women.

@FearandLoathing

I guess my point is whether you talk in person for "2 hours" or you've done
it online via email, you still wont know the person. However, I think at least
in person you get some "emotional" feedback ... email offers no physical
feedback (not talking about the physique), but facial expressions, etc.

I'm not disputing the fact that it's a good idea to exchange a couple of emails,
but I've read where folks carry on for multiple weeks emailing. How does one
supposed "some wacko" gets to meet people? By "acting" in emails as if they
were a normal/acceptable person.

Or let's say they're a player? How does one extract that fact via email if the
player doesn't reveal their true intention? Or course, the player can do that
in person, too, in order to get to their goal. However, maybe a person could
pick up "bad vibes" via body language or mannerisms.

I guess what I'm saying is not that "folks should jump at every opportunity to
meet someone in person who they've "met" online by request ... but emailing
doesn't mean you'd be any 'safer' ". The only way, I think, would be if each
person presented who they really are somehow (maybe some sort of "physical"
evidence, whatever that might be).

I'd rather talk over the phone.Than email back and forth(might get upset or not understand when they are trying to joke or be serious)Call them and block your number or just put in your profile here for forums only.It is a dating site

This thread wasn't about emailing for weeks and weeks without a phone call or anything else. Again, no one said that talking on the phone is not a good thing. Just that many of us don't want to call someone after one email.