i guess i was never that good about this kind of thing, so i am curious what makes a good relationship, the likes and dislikes about it,

I've only been in bad relationships, but I can extrapolate some things from them:

1.) Don't get involved with someone who wants to change you into the exact opposite of who you are.

2.) Don't get involved with someone who consistently loses maze races to an amoeba.

3.) Don't get involved with someone who is slightly less interesting than the ingredients list on the Planters Peanuts jar.

That's all I've got.

i would never cheat or lie with someone that i love, but it does or can happen, and can you date someone that is different then what you would date normal

I think a lot depends on what you're looking for. I've dated a lot of different "types," I guess you could say -- they certainly seemed liked radically different types in the beginning, anyway! -- but they all turned out to be pretty much the same in the end, regardless.

So there really is no particular type that I would normally date -- there was a point when I realized it really should be more about the person herself than about trying to put her into some preconceived category -- and then just let her be herself while I tried to "define" her only in terms of who she herself was.

And that never worked, either, so I suppose I need a new formula.

Love, honesty, trust, and respect. Listen to what your partner has to say. Don't make assumptions. Take time out for yourself, or when tempers boil. Give them space to let them be who you fell in love with.

I think a lot depends on what you're looking for. I've dated a lot of different "types," I guess you could say -- they certainly seemed liked radically different types in the beginning, anyway! -- but they all turned out to be pretty much the same in the end, regardless.

So there really is no particular type that I would normally date -- there was a point when I realized it really should be more about the person herself than about trying to put her into some preconceived category -- and then just let her be herself while I tried to "define" her only in terms of who she herself was.

And that never worked, either, so I suppose I need a new formula.



100% right! The only part i disagree is that there isn't any formula.

Just be urself and let the relationship grow up without putting any presure to ur partner. If u are open minded person sit down and discuss with ur partner. Otherwise if u have problems move on.

The problem most people have is that they cant predict how far a relationship can go and they afraid to take strong decisions for the future.

Overall to have a good relationship isnt about power or sex or money. Is all about the COMMUNICATION between the 2 personalities. If u can't manage to communicate well with ur partner move on. There is nothing u can do about it. Even if u play God like Jim Carrey on "Bruce Allmighty", u cant change the personality of ur partner. If u can't communicate u have to accept it and move on.

....Untill u find the person who matches with u and live happily ever after

Good Luck

This is the truest thing I've seen in these forums, and I've been here 3 years.

Communication is the single most important factor in a relationship, as far as I'm concerned.

My problem is that I have never been able to find someone capable and/or willing to communicate beyond brain-dead cliches and/or the manipulative socio-inertial expectations that are as relevant to "today" as a moose is to a flight simulator.

Communication is key. I am new at this myself, have never had a good relationship until now, at least it seems good so far.

We are actually different in many ways. I guess it also comes down to what you are willing to put up with. For example, his ex is dying of cancer and she calls him a lot to talk, that doesn't bother me, I understand their connection and her need to talk to him and his need to be there for her.

We both are willing to work on the relationship though, and I guess that is key. If one partner doesn't want to work on it, then it can't work.

I agree with this list, FearandLoathing approved!

We're so much alike, it's scary sometimes.

I know, we should get together sometime and take over the world.

I'm just a little reluctant because of all the paperwork. On the other hand, once we're in charge, maybe I can delegate that.

Books have been written on this subject and everyone's list of important factors is different from everyone else's.

i guess talking is a very big thing with having a good relationship any more, you most learn to trust someone with you and your heart with out this it will never wotk out,

and i think if you try new things in your relationship then just the same thing over and over that this is a very good thing what do you think,

Agreed, communication is extremely important.

kindness, chemistry, humor, respect

The best relationships I have had just "fell into place". We never dated, never went through any of the traditional courtship.

I guess what I am trying to say is, if it doesn't feel natural to begin with I don't think it ever will. Being comfortable with the other is so important. I'm sure some will be a bit nervous in the beginning, but for myself being nervous is a dead give away that something is off. A mate for me is a friend first and foremost and I am never nervous with friends and family.

Do's:
Respect (treat the other with as much respect you deserve.
Compromise: Not everything will be mutual.
Trust: Give it until it is proven the other doesn't deserve it.
Communication: Must know how to talk to one another with understanding for the other, a willingness to understand the others views even if you don't agree.

Don'ts:
For heaven sake listen to those "WARNINGS" that go off in your head.
(Red Flags - your hunch is normally correct and or it is always better to be safe than sorry)

1) Trust your gut feelings.
2) "Opposites Attract" is a recipe for disaster. There has to be some similar interests.

"Nothing in common" Never ever believe this whimsical farce of an excuse. You are two differnt people, do you really think they are going to be exactly like you? No. It's your time to learn, baby, they will try to be more like you and you will try more to be like them. When no compromise is reached, you go into meltdown status, and the relationship is over.