I've kind of come to a realization about something. Me, like many others sometimes feel like these dating sites are a waste of time because nobody's interested in us. But I would bet nearly all of us on these dating sites could find "someone" but we all have this thing we don't usually talk about called standards. It's a tough thing because you gotta find that balance of keeping your standards and not "settling" I'm kinda starting to reevaluate myself and consider that maybe my standards are too high. I used to think they weren't because I'm not attracted to extremely skinny women. But thinking about it they're still very beautiful women that I go for, and usually have no luck with.

I think alot of us need to realize if we want a great looking woman, or if you're a woman searching if you want an attractive man with a great personality, money, the whole package then we've got to put some effort and make some changes into the way we take care of ourselves. It doesn't make sense that an absolutely gorgeous women who can have anyone she wants is going to want someone like me when I have very little money, a good personality when you get to know me but I don't have what I call a good meeting people personality, an average/below average looks whichever you want to think. It also doesn't make sense that Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt are going to want an average looking girl who doesn't dress up and chooses not to wear makeup. It's a form of stubbornness to not be able to keep your ego in check and accept nothing less than the best. If you want someone who's a 10 you've got to be a 10 as well. Sure there's exceptions to this but for the most part the formula applies. Alot of times even if you do get someone above you they'll cheat or leave you. You're only going to get someone as good as you are.

Mine really has nothing to do with standards.
Mine is all about who I can click with and how well
we communicate. As long as we laugh, have fun and talk, that is all that matters to me.

You're being negative right from the start. Attitude has a lot to do with it. Try not being so negative and you may have better luck.

Exactly Tami I have to be attracted to them as well but who I'm attracted to you might not be, etc. Doesn't mean they're a 10 on the modeling scale but to me, my attraction to them, their personality, sense of humor and intelligence make them my 10..

I think I will hold onto my standards, but good luck to you in your search

I can understand why you would perceive it that way, but I honestly don't think so. Sometimes you have to reflect on yourself if something you're doing is not working. I'm just talking about lowering the bar a little, because of the results I've had with the types of women I've tried to contract. Or do you think I should keep trying with those types of women and hope it works out? I didn't mean that question in a sarcastic way by the way it's an honest question.

You talk about lowering the bar, that's really not the way to look at it... Just b/c you don't see a woman as a 10 does not mean that another man doesn't.... maybe it's just that you should revamp what your dating preferences are and see if that works better for you.. From what you're saying what you're doing now is not working and could use a revamping...

I think of it as a chocolate covered peanut.
That chocolate sure looks good and probably will be. But do we really know if that is a good peanut or not?

and he didnt want to go at it alone, so he lassoed us all in.

OP - find what works best for you.

Personally I find by you saying you are lowering your standards to be pretty demeaning (hate to be the woman/girl you hook up with and click with, knowing she's beneath you) yikes

Yeah I see your point Indian Princess. The women I see as a 10 many men definetely wouldn't agree. But even these type of women don't see me the same way it seems. Yeah I guess that is negative. Guess I'm just a little lost.

I see your point too franshade, it just shows how different women and men think though.

Maybe I need to rethink what I said, keep going after the ones I think are a 10. If they reject me just consider it there loss just keep trying. Better?

Why lower your standards? If something isn't working, figure out another way to go about getting what you want. That doesn't mean you need to lower your standards, though.

What type of women are you going for? Why do you consider going with a different type of woman to be lowering your standards?

all I can say is "Shallow Hal" did you see it? There was a message there that although delivered in an exaggerated manner was funny but real....


Tami, so true about peanut OR those candies that you never know what's in the middle!

why would one expect to partake in what they are unable to bring to the table. We shouldnt expect more from others than what we can deliver ourself.

Well, I talk about mine all the time, and it's no secret.

I'd rather have all that stuff out there, right up front and out in the open. What's the point in wasting a lot of time on people who aren't compatible?

The other day at work they had what appears to be a hershey's kiss well I open it and it's orange I'm all thinking "hrrm maybe some orange chocolate thing" Well I was badly DECEIVED it was a candy corn. The worst candy ever created. You can't make a candy out of a vegetable. That's why I'm not just all about looks because that beautiful women could turn out to be a candy corn on the inside! :)

It really is just all about compatibility though.

..so life is like a box of chocolate covered peanuts..lol..foresta is that u..jk..couldn't resist.. <--- he made me do it.. ...personally justin..i think youre wrong,listen to what some are saying..it's all about the attitude..if u build it..they will come..

Dont give up your standards, just make sure you live up to them before expecting others to.

It is all about compatibility as I stated above

I will never lower my expectations or my principles. I deserve the best even if that means being single forever.

"The best" is subjective and only relative to MY best. I don't want a Brad Pitt type and I have my own money. There are other qualities far more important to me which runs the entire spectrum from the physical to the emotional.

I won't settle with someone that I might fall out of love with because I "accepted" a trait that normally doesn't appeal to me. I have to stay true to myself. I don't make apologies for being selective.

The idea of being divorced or having a lot of relationships does not appeal to me. I'm really happy being single -- and casually dating -- until I find my partner in crime.

I don't want someone to "settle" for me either!

Considering that all humans are equal, I don't consider anyone above anyone else and frown upon those who do.

Men really seem to have this "labeling" thing bad. "She is out of your league", "She is not something to take home to mom" , etc....

Women are women across the board.

If you base your judgments on looks you will end up with a shallow woman, which is fine if that makes you happy but she will not be "above or below" any other woman you could choose.