Tells me he is selling drugs to make extra money? How should I handle this?

My honest opinion : report him to the police in an anonymous way and very soon .

How old is he? Does he have a 'real' job?

Well it is just "pot" he says, and you know the police will screw him up real good, they are known for that.

Yes he has a good job, but like he says, it does not earn him enough, to run with the "big dogs" as I think he would like. He does not miss any work and says it's just a little bit that he is doing this. I am afraid for him, he really is a good kid, but he lives with his father who is a good dad, but out on planet Pluto when it comes to knowing what his son is up to.

What drugs is he selling? Is it just pot, or meth or heroin?

He is your son, do you want him to go to jail? If you do report him.

Is he over twenty-one? He is old enough to make his own decisions and to take the consequences for them.

If he is into the drug culture there is nothing you can do about it but get him into some kind of rehab. If he goes to jail for drugs there is a ninety percent chance that he will get back into drugs when he gets out.

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and what your fears are about his behavior. And make sure he knows what will happen if he gets caught.

He smokes himself, and that is really the only thing he uses on a consistent basis, he says it helps to relieve the stresses and helps him focus on what is important. He does not smoke his head off and he is not a pothead, in other words he has not shirked any responsibility of daily living, has alot of friends, and still plans to return to school, he just turned 19 and does not know what he wants to do with his life, didn;t do that well in school due to his reading issues, but does ok now.

How will reporting him help? Won't they just arrest him?

He is far from rehab, to him smoking pot is just a release with his friends and just like alcohol to older people who have a cocktail now and again,

My son is going to be 19 in January. If he is living in my house then I would tell him it stops or he is out. If he lives on his own, there isn't much you can do except tell him how you feel.

But if he continues and he gets caught then YES that will mess his life up for a while and I wouldn't blame the cops or the system for enforcing the laws out there.

I don't see how turning him to the police will help, they will just lock him up, right?

the only thing I can see coming from that is that they might be lenient and order him to rehab instead of jail and it would show you don't tolerate it.

More than likely he is going to get caught whether you turn him in or not

He lives with his dad.

I'm not sure there's anything you can do but give him advice and be there for him

Yes, this is what I've been thinking.

Yes pot is to many considered as just like having a cocktail, me included, but it is illegal in most states. Selling it is still considered a felony in a lot of states. He is nineteen, not in school, and it does not sound as though he is in a career that is going to take him very far. Talk to him. It's all you can do.

Ummmm mom, you better re-think this. If he is selling it then he is either growing it or is getting it from a chain higher up. The higher up you go, the more criminal it gets. Those guys don't give a **** if your son gets busted. I would do some serious research and show him just exactly how all this can screw up his life. Depending on how much dope he is dealing, it could be a pretty hefty sentence. I hope for your sake you can get him to see the light before someone else does it for him.

The laws are pretty clear.Smoking and selling are two very diffrent things.If he is smoking,Just talk to him about it.If selling? That is another ball game.I would check the laws and show him what can happen.
J.M.O

Maybe you could find some big brother type guy who's been there and done that (like at a meeting somewhere) who would be willing to talk to him. Somebody that had compassion for where your son is in life. Sounds like peer pressure is getting him bigtime.

Edit to say: the good thing is he is talking to you about it. Sounds like you two have a good relationship.