I KNEW IT wait...are you saying it wasn't me this time?

yep, this time it WASN'T you!

Comparing your ex(s) to this new person....especially outloud!

Ahh yeah that's not good....

true. my last ex did that a lot. even if it favored me....it got annoying

Heyyy....I just thought of a bad dating habit that I have.

Actually trying to get a date.

That's a bad habit I REALLY need to break.

I use to have that,,now I have the forget it THOUGHT,,as soon as I first THINK IT,,,lol

Thinking it is not fair to another person. A friend who doesn't have a dating life; dependent sibling, child, or aged parent; or the memory of a past love.

Not removing social barriers. Not learning to understand sports basics, how to swim, how to dance, sing a few basic songs, how to ride a bike, drive a car, call a cab, or ride the bus home if you need to exit, use a cell phone, or upload pictures on a computer. Useing good manners habitually makes it much easier to not have to worry about tacky manners.

Thinking your appearance only matters on the date. Going around looking like a something the cats dragged in is dating suicide. If you are not going straight home from work, the gym, or cleaning the yard recover yourself. Carry a change of clothes and grooming gear in the trunk of your car so if you have and accident you don't have to go around looking like a slob. You only get one chance to make a first impression. This goes for your car too. Shouldn't have to shovel things out of the way to share the ride.

Being off in your own little world when you are out. Might be great to read in the park, exercise with headphones, or always have a companion but it makes you very unapproachable. Make eye contact, leave a hand open to wave or shake hands, practice making positive body language that helps you connect. A smile and Good posture equals confidence and it is really more a matter of habit than great courage or skill.

Not having a dateing game plan. Know some places in your neighborhood that would be suitable, afforable, and comfortable to go on a date. Know the exact address and phone number of a few places that are safe and easy to get to meet new people. Going places you have at least had a trial run at are much more likely to make you relaxed and fun to be around than an unprepared puttz.

Have approriate clothes. Even if you are not a dress up person most days dateing requires a little more effort and sometimes a lot more. Own at least one swimsuit, formal outfit, and a couple of dressy changes. They don't have to be high fashion, or even new, but they need to fit. Have a decent dressy all weather coat. Owning one respectable looking piece of luggage isn't a bad idea. Not attending social functions because you can't fit in makes you a drag as a date/mate. Know at least one place you can get a respectable hair style.

If you have a kid you have to have a babysitter and budget available on a regular basis. No one wants to babysit for holidays if they are the ONLY days they get called. Your going out alone or staying out overnight should not be a trauma to your child. While I don't condone lying to your children if they are used to you having "personal time" it will be a lot less attention getting to your child, his or your parents and your privacy is your own. (While this doesn't qualify for a date it also makes anyother seperation less traumatic.) If you are going to be out late plan on how you are going to get your kids or the sitter home. Having warm hooded sweats make it a lot easier to keep from waking sleeping children if you must. Taking the sitter and the kids out to breakfast or having a comfortable sleep on sofa can make having a sitter stay over much easier.

If you have a pet you need to prevent them from being more important than occassionally having someone outranked them in the social order. You need someone dependable to let them out so when you get home you don't have to do doodoo duty or chain up the beast before you can let a date in the door. An excellent reason for training your pet to accept being kenneled occasionally and leashed trained even indoors. While most people will sleep with their own pets it is not likely that they want to be romantic with yours in and intimate setting.

While it seems like it should go without saying clean up your personal space. You never know when that perfect person might be a customer/coworker in your work area, service person, a guest of a room mate, or neighbor, or family member.

Last but probably not least have a calendar and know when you are available. You are going to look like a chump if you over book yourself or have to stand up a date because you don't know your work schedule or when you have to go for and appointment. Not a bad idea to check out the weather report. Nothing like kissing under and unbrella but not much that is sexy about someone who isn't prepared for rotten weather and looks like a drowned rat.

Pacific wrote "the book" on the subject

Scheduling 2 dates at the same time for the same place.

Yeah I guess it's better to schedule them a few minutes apart, so if the first one fails, you can run down the street to the other restaurant.... *sarcasim*

You believe there is a lady who won't make it her life's ambition to CHANGE everything about you....!!

Lex...I don't. Either I like who they are or at least be able to except it or I don't. To much work in trying to change someone when you don't even know what they will end up changing into

Well, that's the way it should be.

Just that, in my experience, it almost never works that way. They always say they're attracted to me because I'm so "different" and then they end up wanting me to be the same as all the people I'm supposedly "different" from.

oh I know there are people out there that make it their mission in life to change someone. I guess I just don't have the patience to do that

I don't see different as a bad thing (well unless it harms someone) If I don't like someone's difference, then I put on my big girl pants and walk away

For some strange reason, women like to think they can change a man (especially 20's women). MOST men will only change long enough to get what they want, then go right back to their old ways. Is it the challenge that makes women want to change a man? Why do men try to pretend to be someone that they're not programmed to be?

Dating Tip: Be yourself, except yours and your partner's flaws and enjoy each other's differences. That is what makes people who they are and life more interesting.

I think it's a maturity thing Shaggy... I think when in their 20's women think "I like him, he's almost perfect. Now if I can just change these few things"... When they get older they realize you can't and shouldn't change anyone or let anyone try to change you (yes, men do it as well)... If people don't stop trying to change people as they mature then only their age is going up, their mind is not maturing..

Agreed Joy. Also the only person that can change you is you