..encourage someone to find a new relationship?
The holidays and remembrance of past loves have opened up, again. It is painful to realize that I do not have a place to belong with someone, that there will never be anyone good enough, in the eyes of new found hopefuls. I have met others that have made up their mind that nothing will ever be as good as it was. Sad the effect it has on those brought into that someone's life. You see, what I had before was just that..good, bad, disappointing and still, filled with blessings..blessings I would never have had..ever. I would try for another relationship, a new experience for a different aspect of grounding. I am not wired in such a way that I would just try intimacy for the sake of not doing without, for intimacy to me, has to be connected to relationship. Without that, it is empty for me. In this articulation, there will be found many holes and questions to support someone's thoughts in their quest for love, relationship. I know I am not alone. Would anyone care to share?

For me the word intimacy includes love, trust, respect, honesty, loyalty and knowledge of the person I want to be with. If any of these are missing then intimacy can not occur. It is merely sex. I, myself, would rather be alone then settle for less than what I deserve and I would not want to be with someone who was willing to settle for less than what he deserved. I am also optimistic enough to believe that I will have this relationship in my life. To some I may appear a dreamer but what will I ever have in life if I don't believe that my dreams are possible!

Settling..that is a word, reminds me of the sediment at the bottom of the wine bottle. I would like the dream, all of it..I have heard others say..their way or no way..that feels closed off. Open minded? open to who's mind..

Way too many people think sex is love, Without Love, Sex is just an empty feeling.

The Miracle of finding true love will last way beyond a one nite stand.

DeliLady, I agree. It's alot more work, But it sure has better long term results.

As we have gotten older and there isn't the football game with the dance in the gym afterward, I am faced with the fact that if I am to meet someone I will have to get out there and be on display. That's what it looks like to me when an older person is on the move...on display. Like a freshly baked birthday cake in the bakery window. "Wow, doesn't that look good but it's only one layer? Wonder who's going to get that cake? What do they do with it if it doesn't sell? Too bad it isn't strawberry."

I think since we have had at least a couple of serious people in our lives we have become picky since we're in the winter of our seasons and it might be our last hurrah. It's almost like we're scrambling to get out of a hole but being choosy about who throws us a rope.

I think since we have had at least a couple of serious people in our lives we have become picky since we're in the winter of our seasons and it might be our last hurrah. It's almost like we're scrambling to get out of a hole but being choosy about who throws us a rope.

I find that true sometimes. we want things our way..and it can be conflicting for some people, a compromise takes both.

I don't think it's being picky as more as being more careful. Being hurt and then getting older, having been blessed to get this far..it's more like we have experienced more and have a better clue of what we know will work or won't.
I won't be some mans 'let me cook for you everyday' woman while he lounges around but will cook if he does. I want a more non-traditional man. It doesn't matter what he does (excluding a life of crime) but he has to have heart and we have to be on the same wavelength about the big things in life. Money is not the big concern, just so we can pay the bills and not worry. Materialism has gone out the window for me.
I look at it as we have more fine tuned our list through life, and do beleive it will come because we are honest with ourselves.
And if it doesn't...so be it. I have a girlfriend whom it's all she talks about. There's more to life I want to tell her yet that is her only goal and I only hope she makes it with a good guy..she's been married 3x and money is the main focus of her future mans attributes.
(well, at least thats all she's mentioned- sorry Chris ) She keeps meeting and going out with men, but it never lasts more than a couple of hot and heavy months. I simply cannot do that, never could. Someone who can laugh with a good sense of humor is a must tho.

to be in a bad relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship is just not worth it for me, been there, done that. Life is just not worth it to me if I have to be with someone or dating someone that I know is not the one I want. Sounds "picky" well I don't think so, my criteria is for someone that believes in the golden rule,is honest, respectful, no substance use or alcoholism, that is more important to me than looks or money.So I guess I'd rather be "alone" than settle. Merry Christmas and Happpy Holidays........................

I agree with you all. And I'm keeping the faith I find another love. Might be different, he sure has to cook and clean up after himself and of course a sense of humor. You just got to laugh :)

I thought I had found my "nuther love" but found out today that he was married... I am not sure I want to go through that again..Maybe alone isent too bad afterall.

sorry Linn, don't understand why they can't fess up upfront..

Yeh - guess that would ruin the chase

"The good old days weren't always good, tomorrows not as bad as it seems"

I am 51 and have found someone new. I feel like a teenager again, except no angst, no insecurities of youth, and in no hurry.

I'm sorry Linny..been there..

wonderful for you.

I have been in relationships that all seems great at first, until I see the "man behind the curtain", I know that everyone puts on a great front in the beginning and when they feel comfortable let you see the real them. Even I dhave done that. I have learned, after many banging my head against the wall, that if I can not make myself happy how can I expect someone else to. That is not their responsiblity, it's mine. I have been alone for awhile, and yes I would like to have that special someone to come home to, enjoy life with, but until then I am comfortable being with just ME.

That happened to me too Linny and have found out it is common on the date sites. And that was my last guy too but I'm still up for love. It did knock me down though.

Yeap until then :) me too :)

oh I agree as well...I think i'm going to like the 50's room