You would argue with a stop sign and then throw a rock at it,for not answered you back. My step-father would tell me if my a-- was glass,that I would break it. How about I'll knock you into next week.

My father would say, when referring to trying get someone's attention, "When you're talkin' to a mule the 1st thing you do is grab a 2x4 & smack it right between the ears. Then, once you have it's attention, you can talk to it." More often than not, I thought he was referring to me.

Another of his: "Worthless as teets on a boar hog." Me again. Nice guy & fond memories.

Going to Omaha for a load of hogs.......none of your business!
Colder than a well diggers butt..( we say azz) when you dig deep enough it's COLD!!

My dad used to say...'she's uglier than a mud fence'..

Dads favorite...

Someone should slap the taste out of that guys mouth.OUCH

Moms...

Stop! Your eyes will stick like that..lmaoooo

They did

My dad used to tell every boyfreind:

I have a gun
My wife has a shovel


You touch her

and noone will ever find you

Dad's favorites were

"you've been drinkin muddy water again" when we were standing in front of the tv screen

"don't ever wrestle with a pig, because you both get dirty but the pig's the only one who has any fun"

"don't tell your momma"

"hotter'n hades"

"how many times have I told you?" (more of a rhetorical question, I learned)

"you kids want me to pull this car over!!!? Well??? DO YOU???"

"you don't work... You don't eat!"

"not THAT wrench you idjit, the OTHER wrench"

Mom's were

"to the South Pole to see the sun set..." (when asked where she was going)

"close the door, you're lettin the flys out"

"were you born in a barn?" (gee mom...don't YOU know?)

"He ain't got the sense God gave a goose" (loved that one)

"eat it and shut up"

"just wait til your dad gets home"

"I said NOT a PEEP!"

"tough titty for the kitty but the milk's still good"

"is that what they teach you in school?"

" take that garbage out "

"just look at me that way again...go ahead...do it..."

"I love you more than pancakes" (Rest well mom...We all miss ya... )

'don't do that anymore',,,,
'your'll go blind' ........

My dads favorite saying when I first started dating was "Son I'm not afraid to go back to prison for murder if you hurt my daughter", my dad has never even been in county jail and he sure has never been to prison!

Dad said "You can't date til you are 30 years old".

Mom always said " I borught you in and I'll take ya out...keep it up!"

I was always told by my mpther , when we were in for a whipping and ran from her , she would hoolar "yougo ahead an run , youalways have to come home" man was she right, and woo did we catch it.

yep....

Mom used to tell me "I was so dumb that I could not pour s**t out of a boot with the instructions wrote on the hill" When I had gotten something wrong, that she had told me to do. I always hated for her to say that.

"Don't go with just "one" lady, love them ALL"

The perfect description of me.....

"OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER; BUT I DON'T"

Grandma ... I love you more than a cat loves cream


Mom ... Still waters run deep


Mom ... You're so lazy you stink


Dad ... Always carry klennex (tissues) .. Dad had 3 daughters
no sons

If you don`t stop that, you will go blind.

But Mom, I already wear glasses.

i was told when i was 4 ,,if i ate watermelon seeds i could grow one...,,,sick huh,,at the time i believed it lollllllll

Thoes where the day's.Before mom would get off the phone,she would say : catch ya in the wash,the person on the other end would say ,see ya in the spin cycle.

Oh yeah Wisconsin too!

My Mother used to say "I brought you in into the world and I can take you out".

I made fun of my mom's 'old fashioned music' and she said, just wait your generation is going to be remembered for DISCO!'

"you keep it up & you'll get a trip to the wood shed!"
"Don't poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick!"
"You keep it up & you'll get a she-lackin!"
"you better stop or I'll get out the strap!"
"sad,but true!"
"words truly spoken!"