1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line..

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.



Let's
face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take
English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? You have one goose, 2 geese; so one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?


Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Sometimes
I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for
the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat
chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was
invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of
the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.. That is why,
when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

Would you polish my Polish knob?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Oh, and why isn't it called a "teethbrush?"








...cuz it was invented in Kentucky?

Well I would be ..ya know

Hey........

yet another Kentucky burn.....

Is choose the plural of cheese?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?

Why is it that no matter how thoroughly you wash them you can still have too much time on your hands?

and why does missiletoe consist of neither missiles nor toes?? hmm ? lol