Ok,so I was reading about this woman in another site whose husband just left her because her son fell on hard times and needed to move in with them until he's stable again..The son HAS a job..helps around the house and such but still hubby told her its either him or me..thinking that it wasnt all that serious wife shrugged it off..well..next time she hears from hubby is in the form of a divorce letter and the bank telling her that she no longer has funds there..Am I the only one that thinks hubby was a d*ck and she should be HAPPY that he walked?

Not enough info to know. Was the son disrespectful, a slob, abusive? Working and doing chores is not always enough for an adult in a household of other adults...

So it's not his child? At first I assumed it was their kid, but then I read it again and I'm not sure. Anyway, interesting scenario, it's odd though because every husband I've ever known would have just told her she wasn't allowed to let him move back in and that would have been the end of it. My mom had a friend whose hubby threatened to divorce her if she helped their adult child, so she didn't.

She wasnt "allowed" to help her kid?..Oh my gosh..ok that right there might be why I'm still single..lol..I'm 30yrs old..no man has to ALLOW me to do anything let alone to help my child

Wow, thats harsh. What would be the reason for such instant rejection?

oh...hummm. I would have a hard time if hubby, boyfriend, whoever told me I couldn't help my kids out through a rough time. Been alone with my boys along time..I am all they have..if I didn't help I don't know who they could go to.
So, this guy isn't the dad right?
One should never give that kind of an ultimatum...me or your kid. Not really playing fair..must have been other issues involved, must be more to this story.

Her husband dominated the family, his word was law. She went back to school with the stipulation that nothing in the house could be affected by her schooling- dinner had to be fixed and on the table on time, children taken care of, his needs taken care of, etc. He was very "old-fashioned," I suppose the term is. Personally, I think he was a prick, but she put up with it. And I agree, Lady, that's one reason so many women are against marriage, because of the prospect of that kind of relationship.

He said the son had "made his bed hard and now he had to lie in it." Basically, he hadn't done what the dad wanted him to do in life, so he blamed him for his mistakes and wanted to make him pay for it. He was a jerk.

YEah, im all for a dominant in control man ,but consideration and respect have to be a part of that picture too. When he takes the lead it has to be for what is best for BOTH of us, not just what makes HIM the most comfortable.

Nope he isn't the dad..the other thing is..as soon as he send her the divorce papers he was moving in with another girl..now if it were just probs with the boy..where did the new woman come from so fast..he blamed his walking out on the boy but to move right in with another girl?????????

Ugh, if he had someplace to go to so fast, she was best to be rid of him. Sounds like he was just looking for an excuse, and he used the kid instead of just admitting he was a philandering jerk.

RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!! my kids and grandkids come before any dang man i dont care who the freaken jurk is

You women will do whatever us men damn well tell you!

would you like a sandwich,,,? LOL

Exactly..relationships are there one minute and gone the next..your child will ALWAYS be your child!

Um..Dan..have you bumped your head recently?..lol..and how hard was whatever you hit?..lmao.

So there were other things going on...I figured as much. It would seem he had been with this girl anyway and the kid was just his "out"...his excuse to get out and be with the other woman. Just as well, now she can help her boy, he can help her get through this time. The guy was already done before the situation with the kid came up...
What a dick..now mom has to deal with her loss, try to help her kid and the kid is going to carry guilt for thinking it may have been his fault. And feel like he ruined mom's marriage..how old is this adult son?

She didn't say how old her son is but thats what I thought to..her kids situation was just an easy out for him..hes full of bull.

...


but it can be more complicated than the simple or the black and white. Sometimes we do need to let our grown kids go because they arent KIDS anymore. We can love them but we dont always help by being there as a crutch instead of making them figure out how to work things through themselves. There is also the issue in marriage that your spouse is supposed to come first. I happen to agree with that , in principle, once children are grown. However, each situation has to be thought through carefully. If I had a son who disrespected my husband, he would not be back home. If he was working hard though and my husband seemed to have no reason to refuse him, it would most likely be the beginning of the end for our relationship.