Of all the qualities of men, I've chosen a feat of no glory, of no amusement, and of remorse. The will of my passion is lit not by heated temper but of bitter indifference. This position I've resided in constantly pushes me to endure rather than to respond, to contend rather than to seek. 20 years,20 bloody years, from Shenyang to Tokyo, from east to west, from the shanty apartments of Liao-yang province to the Dorm room of an American university. How the roads of venture have led me through this childhood of lack luster memories and juvenile ignorance. roughly a quarter of my life have craved their way into existence and yet the roads ahead are still dark and frighting as they were decades ago. And to what do I have to show for the eagerness of my youth? The Constant emotional shifts that I so regrettably repress? The inherit physiological hypocrisy that seems inescapable? In ebb and flow they cycle through to torment me. At times, digital distractions would suffice, but soon those distractions changed from digital to botanical. Stressful as it may be, I can't seem to find a reason to breakdown, to tear, to change. In response I crawl into bashful concealment. In hermitage I clasp, to spare others of my intolerable rants. And in this glutenous stage I grew to an gelatinous abomination void of compassion and ruled by physical pleasure. Fueled by envy, the flames of rancor engulfed my conscious. And so begun a segment of denial...of defiance. Devoted as I was, but no longer bare the strength to carry on being so temperamental. And so once again, I withdrew to my distractions and floated on. A technique I've come to rely on until recently, it would seem even distractions could not hold my mind away from her. But too well I know the pursuit of others, of my peers in the field of competition. Ashamed of my cowardice towards rejection, I distanced my self....but indifference would not come my aid. Her laughter, and her smile would haunt my nights relentlessly. But she, is not the one to blame, I am guilty of my own demons. Out of hope I invited them in to refresh memories of her. Of all the qualities of men, I've chosen patience, and till the end of time I'll wait for her. : )

That's deep man.

Good luck to ya.

Read the whole thing.

I relate.

While others choose to fight back the waves of the ocean, the patient man waits for the tide to subside.

just another boy struck by the sharp edge of love mates, but what can you do right lol :)

20 years is a long time to wait, I'd forget about it.